I completely understand that some people feel uncomfortable in the bodies they were born in - I get that. But what if you aren't? As far as I'm concerned, I was born male so I'm a guy, but mentally I'm more "female". I feel like the terms "Female" and "Male" should only encompass biology, and how someone fits psychologically should be described by entirely different terms, as they aren't necessarily connected. Just a thought.
hence gender and sex are completely two separate things. You must understand that most transgendered people who wish to transition are people usually who feel disconnected to their bodies-something that does not fit their identity- not because they feel feminine and are therefore a 'woman'. (vice versa)
Sex and gender are described with different terms - male and man, and female and woman. Technically I'm a female guy. My hormones, genitals, and puberty induced secondary characteristics are typical of what biology refers to as female, while my internal sense of self is more male. For me it's deeper than not liking my body, and deeper than not liking my designated social role - there are endless ways to be a woman, but none of them feel right. It's just an overwhelmng sense of not. Not socially right, not physically right. To be entirely honest, I do not find any of the commercially available terms to encompass me well - male, man, female, woman, they just don't seem to fit. It's ok to be an "atypical" guy or girl because there is no one right way to be a guy or a girl. I believe all of us have in us masculine and feminine traits because in the end, no traits are inherently masculine or feminine - we're all capable of feelings of pride, jealousy, cattiness, rage, compassion, gratitude, lust, and sensitivity. The idea that men are inherently logical, steady, determined, and strong and women are inherently sensitive, coy, nurturing, and emotional is so beyond flawed in my opinion. Sorry if this is sort of half on point, it's late here and I'm pretty tired.
The internal sense of being female/male for someone biologically male/female can be viewed in themselves as reason for transitioning. But this is so subjective as 'female' and 'male', 'masculinity' and 'femininity', 'man' and 'woman' have different meanings or levels of potency for different people. We all have different reasons. SOme stem deeper than others. Someone wanting or needing to transtion just because they feel like they are are too 'feminine' to be male or too 'masculine' to be female is for me a shallow reason, because like you said-and which i agree with- we all have individual levels of attributes and emotions that should not be polarised into the dichotic of masculinity and femininity. Polarising things as either masculine and feminine is a very reductionist way of seeing the world. But it is a very effective one. However that is my view. We all have the right to be the person we see ourselves as. Look at body builders. Yes no traits are inherently masculine or feminine. Sadly we live in a very polarised society even still. We see with our eyes first and not our minds. We live through media portrayals, seeking guidance and identification of how we must act and feel comfortable and be attractive. The female form is seen as feminine-male as masculine. Sadly a lot of people grow up and live within the second reality-the media. There is no reality apart from your own. We put words to what we're feeling, the doubt and the confusion. 'Maybe I am just me?' I agree. However if it comes to a person needing to transiiton and wanting to feel more comfortable in themselves as individuals-without claiming a desire to be like someone else-or because of the social discomfort of being outside a 'norm'-then transition is paramount. Currently i am living within a male body; male hormones etc. But somewhere within me I feel like a 'tomboy girl'. Not just girl but also female. When I look at my body I cannot identify with it. Even though it is athletic and attractive to people (not being conceited) I find it not right. I have always had a slight uncomfortableness with my form ever since I can remember. I wasnt necessarily into feminine things, I just felt being biologically male, looking male and people treating me like a male was wrong. However I am always in conflict with this desire to transition due to all the feminist texts and gender theories I have studied. In the end its whatever makes you happen. Sometimes you must break away mentally from all this theory and critique.
I am Gender-fluid so, meh, throw the binary out the window, some one needs to invent technology to allow me to have Mystics powers from X-Men. LoL
I have to agree with others here. Personality has little to do with gender. Both men and women can (and do) have any personality features and I don't think we should expect certain features from men and others from women. I think understanding this more deeply would help all sexes and genders to respect one another more.
Thank you so much for the responses! I suppose that what I had been thinking was that some people may become trans simply because they feel different personality wise from others of there gender. That, and I sometimes wish that there was an easier way to say "I have male parts, but tend to think like a girl" without confusion.
Nice to see you again, Fox! I agree. My body has the parts that biology says make me a "male" but it has no beating on my internal sense of femininity. But social conditioning has made me unaware of just how to be so. I just know i am. As my therapist said: it's an adjustment, for my wife as I'm not the man she married, but (more on point) it's also an adjustment for me as I learn my real gender role." Hang in there. You're young. There's time; I'm 32 and STILL sorting myself out, gender-wise (and otherwise, I guess).(*hug*) ---------- Post added 31st Jan 2014 at 10:17 PM ---------- I understand. I, actually, am beginning to just simply tell people that I prefer to be referred to by feminine pronouns (or neutral if they can't get feminine down). I prefer ma'am, she, her, etc. Or just they and their. Feminine first, though.
We all have the right to be the person; the ideal form of what we are. Whether that be a more feminine form or more masculine one-or something entirely different-or something entirely different from different. I gesture towards the non binary fluid identity rhythm drum beat a lot of the time too. So its a struggle trying to identify with many transgendered women who just wanna look feminine and be 'women'. Finding out who you are is a long dark process. SOmetimes I wish I was more linear with how I saw the world. More conserved and traditional. Narrow mindedness is bliss.
Thanks for this thread and your post, theponytail. Finally something I can relate to. I think I feel like a tomboy girl in a male body too, and I even think I might find that alright. I have done a lot of self-discovery today and I hurt really bad, but this thread does really help me. So a thank you to all of you!
Thanks for posting this! I'm so glad you did. I was looking for the right way to say what I was going for, but I think you said it better than I could have. But yeah, that's pretty much me, too. There are endless ways to be a woman, and I didn't feel right with any of them. As far as being a man, I'm working on it, and I think I'm becoming more myself.
