Yesterday, I had someone call me "sir" at work. I was actually able to request, politely, they not call me that. They were slightly taken back, but conceded. Today, same thing at a store. Then yesterday at work, some truck driver from Russia came back and started talking about all the "gays" and "transvestites" in China. How "disgusting" it was. Not wanting to give myself away, looked away and said no more to the jerk. That got a talk going with another gal i was working with. I told her I was transgendered (that part's getting easier! Yay!). She actually caught herself calling me "sir" and asked if I preferred "ma'am." I told her I prefer the feminine, or neutral and thanked her for asking. That prompted me to ask this question: seeing that people CAN take me seriously, how do I request that they use feminine or neutral pronouns? And related, how do I politely remind my wife to do so?:eusa_naug
Exactly the way you did with that girl. When it comes up, just ask them politely if they would mind using something else, and remind them that they weren't to know (assuming you've not told them before!). This happened last time I saw the Dr and he called me Mr (because the skirt, boobs and light make-up just screamed manly! ) but he apologised and said how his computer said 'Mr'. I find as long as you resist the urge to say something confrontational (I, for example, managed to prevent myself saying "Dude, you have eyes...") most people will be OK with it... I mean you already know the people who aren't going to do it anyway, like your truck driver there. As for your wife, obviously it's slightly different but when I find my mum using the wrong pronouns I just give he a tap on the arm and give her a look until she picks up on it. I mean she swears blind she didn't do it but that's neither here nor there!
The best way I've found is to tell people "it would make my day if you used 'ma'am' instead of 'sir'". Sometimes I let the exhaustion into my voice when I say it, sometimes that's not a bad thing. It's a polite way of letting them know that while I will cut them some slack, the wrong word really bothers me. And that way they feel good about using the right word. That has worked even with people that have negative opinions of my being trans at all.
