I got talking to my girlfriend about role playing and fantasies. We both like acting, she does competitive speaking (i used to, a tiny bit). And a lot (if not the majority) of my fantasies are girl on girl. What I mean by this is when I ever fantasize about sex, I am in a dominant female role with her. I'm taking the initiative and what not. This has me questioning how "trans" I am. Outside the bedroom, I can't imagine being a woman just "uck, not gonna happen". But inside the bedroom I can't be a gender I don't have the parts for...so that's a reason why maybe I find it easier to be female in that situation. Also I do get a lot of pleasure from having my breasts stimulated, and since they are G-cups...they are really hard to hide via binding. Of course she likes the lesbian type scenarios I'd be willing to play out, and has offered in return to play out any male on male ones I may want to. But I politely declined that. Because I know she doesn't like using her penis in ways that emphasize it being a penis, and the idea of her not having fun is a turn off to me. I dunno what to call this. I'm male all the way up until we take our clothes off... in theory this is. I mean yeah there are strap-ons...but it's not like i'll feel myself in her. And girl on girl has the option of dildos and other "toys" if we want. I mean, I have quite the G-spot up my ass, which is why I kinda like the idea of being penetrated up there, just not with a part of her body that she's uncomfortable with... I've gotten myself confused again. :eusa_doh: Am I just a masculine woman? I've been staring at this umbrella for a while...it's not helping.
As a non med trans girl I'd say this; you are all you feel you are. No less. It makes perfect sense that you'd think that way. I view myself as a woman when my wife and I are together. That includes in the bedroom. But I'll use my "parts"because it's pleasurable. If your gf does not use hers, that's her. I'll use mine but still have my wife take the lead; I've always been more the receptive, submissive one. I'm a girl with a built-in strap-on!
It's awesome that you are sensitive to your girlfriend's needs. Are you sure you're comfortable taking a dominant female role? Both you and her need to feel comfortable. I'm sure you've heard the hoohah about communication and experimentation before. You probably have a strong relationship, I'm merely making certain you don't feel pressured. Role playing is great fun if you disconnect yourself from the character you play. You're still male If you pretend to be a woman in the bedroom. If this idea is causing you to doubt being male, then I encourage you to implement this idea especially slowly. You could start in darkness. Maybe you could tell your girlfriend to touch your chest like she would touch a cismale chest. None of this prolonged grabbing. It isn't rare to doubt that you're trans. After all who wants all the negative stuff trans people deal with? You know what you are. I'm ftm. I played female roles in past relationships and it was too much for me. With my first boyfriend (he was straight and I was confused) I had to play insane tricks on my mind, such as pretending I'm a demon possessing a girl's body that wasn't mine.
Charlie, I have the same thing going on. When I have sexual fantasies with a woman, I'm a dominant female, and it's very distressing since I don't identify with my body....or at least I thought I didn't, which is even more distressing. Every time I have dreams, I dream I'm female anymore. I used to dream of myself in a non-gender-specific body, but now in dreams, I'm just female, with dresses and all that shit. The fact of the matter is that being trans is complicated. It's different for everyone. Some people are trans just because they feel that, because of their bodies, they're cast into the wrong social roles. They may be mostly fine with their bodies. It just depends.
I got the dominant thing pretty well set in my mind, but that has roots to some bad experiences I've had in the past with sex and consent. The idea of not being in at least some control makes me very tense. So taking a dominant female role is something I really do like the idea of. And as far as experimenting and finding what and what does not work for us, it's something we both plan on and look forward to. However getting away to a quiet corner to do so anytime soon is out of the question. Not to say that things like oral is out of the question. But since penetration like anal or vagina is dominate, she strays away from it wanting thing to be more delicate. We obviously can't say no to anything that involves using parts that emphasize our incorrect genders, because then we wouldn't be able to do anything. But we can get out from the whole penis means you must penetrate, and vagina must be penetrated thing. It is complicated, and I know it's not simple yes or no on being trans. It's just I dunno.
In my own view, penetration does not a man make. It's just what my parts do. It's the attitude that makes you a man, or me a woman. It is what you make of it. Your girlfriend is totally removed from her penis; there's nothing wrong with her. It's cool that you are sensitive to her needs. My wife is getting that as well. All the best!
