Hey so I've danced around this little section of the forums pretty much since I first came to EC, but I've never really talked in too much depth about my own feelings in this. I can't really say I'm trans, but I couldn't say I'm not either. I'm not really sure what I am. I know that I don't feel disconnected from my physical body, so I suppose I'm not longing to be a woman. I don't really know though because I've thought about it before, and I wouldn't be upset if I woke up a woman tomorrow ( Hell I'd probably be happy about it ) 0.o So I guess I'm some weird in-between place. I don't think I'll ever really know until I take some steps to explore this. I've been avoiding that idea because I just don't really have the means right now, but I think I need to quit running from the concept and just embrace the possibility. Maybe it's nothing more than a passing fancy, or maybe somewhere in this gender mix is where I fit. I'm not really sure >.> Anyways, what I was wanting to know was simply this: If someone wanted to explore this what would be a good starting point? Should I try women's clothes/make up. Should I try referring to myself as a woman? Should I invest in a shrink? I mean like...I don't know -.-' I'm probably not even making sense >.> In any case hopefully maybe someone around here can give me an idea of what would be the best place to start with this.
Man you seem more questioning and open to the concept than when we first met. In fact you kind of lead me to believe the only reason you didn't try to pass is because you said you had too masculine features if I recall. You said something I said earlier today, about not disliking being male but wouldnt be upset if I woke up as a female. No don't rush into anything, explore first. Does being called female make you feel good? Do you like the clothes or just the aesthetic or what? You don't seem to be dysphoric so that seems obvious to me. It just seems you want the option of passing as a female if you desire... Or am I reading this wrong?
Yes, I've had more than enough time to think about this. Before I just felt like thing after thing after thing was stacked up in my head. It was hard to really focus on anything because I had such a poor sense of identity in almost all aspects. I really started to shift this trend when I got a firm grip on my sexuality, and then my religious beliefs. After that I found my way here, and I opened up about a bit more than I usually get the opportunity to, and I think that helped me out a lot. The biggest thing for some odd reason was I really got a sense for myself as a writer. I knew that was what I was even if I never got anywhere with it. Yeah that's the best way I can really describe it. It's not like a hatred of how I am now, it's like an openness to how I could be I suppose would be a good way to describe it maybe...idk this particular area has always been really confusing for me. Even when I wasn't questioning it myself it was hard to wrap my head around because it just gets so messy -.-' Being called female. I actually love it! It hasn't happened in awhile, but when I was a bit younger people online would always think I was a girl. It never upset me once, I actually enjoyed it, made me happy in a weird way. Though once or twice I sorta rolled with it. That was probably not a good thing to do >.> I think that sounds about right. It would be nice to be able to pass myself off as female if the mood struck me. That'll take some exercise though sadly I've been slipping up on that, but not too bad. I just had too much going on and when I did get time to myself I just didn't have the will for keeping up with it. I've got to fix that cause I really do need to do better
Well like I said I like the option to pass if I want to. It's probably not going to last long so I'm utilizing my capacity while I can. If you think you have a more underlying component of femininity then perhaps you explore it. In MMOS I always pass myself off as a female, not to deceive but to be who I feel like I am sometimes. But again I don't feel female all the time. I know it's complicated and it took me a while to figure that aspect of me out. You know I'm always up to talk.
Yeah I'm having the same thought here. I'm pretty much the ideal age for the time being so I might as well attempt to embrace that while I have the potential for it xD I've explored it through role playing before. I have made countless female characters, and I've got to admit I enjoy them immensely. In video games I actually prefer choosing female for gender, but that's beside the point. I know when it comes to femininity I have some level of desire towards being female. It's just not an absolute desire I think. I'm glad you are, and know that while I basically am clueless 99% of the time you can always come talk to me too
