Curious

I feel like that a bit too. I want to do things to transition, but at the same time I feel like I can't. I often tell myself I have no clue what I'm thinking and that I'll never transition, but then I'll have a day when I really hate my body and the cycle begins again.

I can sorta see my future as a guy, and sorta see it as a girl, and it's really confusing. I'm terrified of what my family will say, and I have a feeling my dad wouldn't really accept this. At the same time, I know this needs to be about ME, which makes everything even more confusing because then I sound like a selfish b**** and feel horrible all over again. I know there are people out there who DON'T transition, and I think it's really up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Can you live the rest of your life as your birth-given (assigned?) gender, or is that too much for your mental health? It's little things like that that are important to think about too. How will this affect my psyche? My spirit? My passion for anything?

Anyway, I'm rambling a bit. Hope this gave you a little help!

 

I really, really, really, really, really, really want/need to transition. But after my Dad died, a lot of my plans had to go on hold. And I feel like I can't really force the issue, you know? My mom didn't take it well when I first came out, which was a couple months before it all happened. Literally days before he died, I was planning on giving her something of a manifesto and going off to chop my hair/clean out my female wardrobe.

Now, I will transition one day. If not medically, then at least socially. But I've heard of people who don't transition- don't know anyone personally- but there's a good number of trans people who either can't or just choose not to transition.

 

I may think about transitioning, but not at this time. I'm sort of doing non-standard stuff to transition.

Like running...

 

I can't comment completely, because things are still confusing for me, but I am going to start taking steps towards a more male identity, if that makes sense. My parents would be fine with it, I'm sure, I'm blessed to have accepting parents (though I don't know if they'd get what I mean).

I think it's totally OK for trans people to not transition for whatever reason. But I do also think not doing so because of other people's reactions can be very difficult. I mean, if you want to transition but you choose not to, you're always going to want to, and I think trying to force that to the back of your mind can be problematic, you know? At the end of the day, it's really just about doing what's going to make you the happiest that you can be, regardless of what that is.

 

Of course there are. Now while I'm starting my transition I can understand the feeling. It's difficult to want to do something when you fear others' reactions may be negative, but you need to ask yourself if its worth it to you. Do you feel like you could hide yourself away again for months, years, or even decades? There isn't really a right answer as it all depends on you and your situation. However, I will say this: hiding yourself away can have profound impacts on your life and well being. You need to think about these things carefully. Once you have considered all sides of the issue, then the answer of what to do gets a bit more clear.

Let me ask you something. Are you procrastinating, or deliberating? By this I mean are you thinking things over, weighing all the consequences over (deliberating), or do you already know that you want to transition, but are letting things get in your way (procrastinating). The reason I ask this is because I can't really tell, and if it's just procrastination... then stop procrastinating! If it's going to happen eventually, then you might as well start now*. Check out a how to guide for stopping procrastination. Right now.

 

If it helps, not being selfless is not the same as being selfish.

 

Sounds like mild gauge procrastination to me. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for everything, but it's way too easy to let the small things become insurmountable. Take it from a master procrastinator.