My worst nightmare - PUBLIC BATHROOMS :(

Today I was invited out for the day with my family but I didn't go. The main reason - PUBLIC TOILETS. I'm not even male looking in appearance yet. I still have long hair and just dress gender neutral but as time has gone on it feels more and more wrong using women's loos. I still have to deal with the monthly event so technically speaking, it's very impractical to use men's toilets as well as the obvious problem of having the wrong equipment to use the men's. I don't really want to use STP packers either. Perhaps I will one day but I'm nowhere near ready for that yet. It just doesn't feel right to be using the women's when I'm a guy, not so much for myself but for the sake of others. I mean when I think about it, it makes me feel like I'm a perv or something using the women's toilets So what do you pre-op and non-op/non hormone people do when it comes to public bathrooms?

 

I just avoid public bathrooms unless I'm desperate, its really awkward because most men see me as female and most women see me as male. Some places have a disabled or unisex bathroom you might be more comfortable using them because there is usually only one toilet in it so you don't have to walk by anyone.

 

I use the female ones...boobs would give me away in a men's room. I try to hold it, or just use uni-sex ones. /:

 

I walk into the womens, use the loo, wash my hands and leave.

Nobody has ever said anything about it, and I don't imagine I'll be engaging with them if they ever do.

 

I've used all three. And it depends. I'll use gender neutral whenever they're free- no matter how I'm presenting. If I'm on campus and there's a line to the gender neutrals, sometimes I'll dash off to men's. I've got long hair, don't always pass. But as long as I try not to call attention to myself, I've never gotten trouble for it.

Women's... That's only when I'm out with family (since I can't present male around them) or I have to otherwise present female. Trust me, I hate it. Feel like a huge fucking pervert. For one term, I had to change in one every school day so I could present male on campus. And I was miserable.

 

women's room only because of these infernal airbags on my chest.

 

I prefer women's room. Firstly it's a habit and secondly I'm not really interested in seeing by mistake any men parts. I sometimes use men's room though, mainly if there's a queue at the women's room, or no toilet paper, situations like that. My chest can give me away a little but I really don't care and feel rather indifferent.

 

There are gender neutral toilets! That is so good! I have never seen anywhere that has a gender neutral toilet. I don't feel safe to use the men's loos but I think it's wrong for me to use the women's. I would guess as I transition men will still see me as a woman where as women will see me as a man. I wouldn't see it as discriminating if there were such things as non-gendered public bathrooms that were in place for people transitioning or non-binary. I personally would use them without issue until I could pass well enough. It would make life so much easier.

 

Aye I always use the "disabled" rooms purely because they're gender neutral, haha.

 

Firstly, I just try to avoid going. Thankfully I can usually hold my bladder for a decent amount of time. If I have to go, I'll try to find a gender nuetral one, like in most gas stations (although they are usually pretty digusting). After I get a few things taken care of and can start to pass, then I'll try the womens' room. Until then, I just have to bear it.

 

I would not know what it is like personally, however one time i was in Sainsburys standing outside the toilets waiting for mum to finish shopping and a girl (MtF) went into the boys toilets but because there was a cleaner there she got taken out so she went into the girls but came out looking really embarased~

 

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!!

It's stupid that such a minor thing as providing more unisex bathrooms or educating the public in little ways could make such a world of difference and yet the public takes no action on this front.

I was born female and present as such even though internally I'm bi-gender or gender neutral, and I've always used the men's bathroom as a form of protest. It's a form of female and cisgender privilege that I can do this without violent consequence, and I plan to use that privilege to get conversations started. I feel like if more cisgender people did things like this to draw attention to the problem, it would raise awareness about the need for gender-neutral bathrooms.

 

They're pretty common around here, disabled toilets. My college has about three I've found so far and they're, for the most part, pretty close to my classes. But it's a college, so obviously with a pretty diverse population, it's premium to include them.

Out in public- not so much. Usually, it's newer/larger businesses that'll have them (local movie theater did).

You know what? There used to be an app that listed where gender neutral toilets were. If I find it, I'll post it. Think it was called something like Transquat?

 

I use the mens, since I'm pre-everything.

 

I generally don't give a fuck so I just go into females when its not full. If there's a line in the females and not one for the men's I go in the men's. No one's ever said anything (Although usually no men's ever gone in when I was there and I wait until they leave while in the stall.

 

Pardon, but...wow, that's so ballsy! I wish I could do that, but you know, the opposite.

I look for neutral/family rooms, or else hold it. If I have to go, I use the women's and be quick about it. I've gotten stares in there until I open my mouth, and once I got loud objection (evidently I was having a very good day, appearance wise), but I really don't pass enough to use the men's. :dry:

 

I dunno. I'm thinking now that I'm not passing on campus- I might have to use men's.

I mean, it's a really dumb idea but I figure, it's between that or wearing a sign and I might as well do the one that's of some use after I cave in and buy Pepsi.

Because, come on.... If you have an androgynous looking person with boxers creeping up past their jeans, who's named Ron, and using the men's room then how are they the "new girl"? :dry:

 

I try to avoid public restrooms, unless I really have to. Sometimes there's a choice between using the women's room or a gender neutral single bathroom, so I choose the latter. But when all else fails, I take a deep breathe and go into the women's restroom.

 

I try to avoid using the men's room because I'm fearful of being harassed, as it's already happened once (nothing physical, just getting glared at and having one guy in particular stare at me as I walked into a stall, and gawked at me again while I was washing my hands, and objected, "Are you a girl?"). :/ I'm just happy gender neutral/handicapped bathrooms exist, but wish they were easier to find.

Before university and having easy access to gender neutral bathrooms, I'd honestly try to coordinate the amount of liquids I'd consume and make sure I'd have access to a "safe" bathroom wherever I went throughout the day. That was a shitty time.

 

Here it is:

New iPhone App Finds Nearby Gender Neutral Restrooms | National Center for Transgender Equality's Blog