Note to mods: If this is in the wrong section, please move it and I apologize in advance. ~*~ In any case, this is a weird thread I guess? Bear with me. I'm a 14 year old, and wish to look more boyish beyond outfits and hairstyles. Guess I've been like that since I was young and started avoiding dresses or skirts, but now the problem comes in when I try to flatten out my chest. ACE bandages are darn near impossible to find where I live, and I've been wearing tight swimsuits underneath instead of bras (they and most other feminine things make me want to puke) but swimsuits are a) inconvenient with loos and b) easily discovered by others when I raise my arms and whatnot. So, I'm wondering if I should tell my mom to get me a proper binder? I'm not sure how I should ask because as far as she's concerned stuff like that is just not normal and yada yada... Yes, I predict there will be a long talk regarding philosophy and being comfortable with 'what you have' that accompanies the request. Is 14 too young to get a binder, though? Or maybe I should order one online, but WAIT I don't have any credit cards or whatever...
I don't think there's anything wrong with getting a binder, even at such a young age. It's much safer than using Ace bandages. Do not bind with those. You could do serious, permanent damage to your body. I will warn you, though, that if you bind, over time, your breast tissue will become less dense, which leads to sagging. Also, I don't want to scare you away from binding, but don't sleep in your binder or anything that compresses your chest. There's a chance that you could stop breathing while you sleep if you do. If you can't get a proper binder, though, there are plenty of ways you can make your own. I use body-shaping panty hose. I cut off the legs and cut the gusset (the light-colored piece in the crotch) out and just wear what's left like a sports bra. Anyway, I wish you the best. Be careful.
If you have cash you can buy a visa gift card at the store and use that online I believe. I know it might seem impossible, and something you don't really want to do right now, but I would really suggest having a conversation with your mom. If she's anything like my mom.. mine tried to force me into wearing girl stuff and acting more normal, and I was really nervous to have any kind of conversation with her. I waited until I was 19, and the fact that I waited so long hurt her so much. I can see now, looking back, that she didn't want to make me sad, she just wanted to help me fit in at school and have friends and such. She just wanted the best for me all along, and I can see that now. I wish more than everything that I'd talked with my mom sooner because it feels good to have her on my side. I read posts of people saying that they wished they came out sooner and I just couldn't absorb it because I was so nervous. If I could go back and change the way I did it, I would. Hey, my wall or PM is always open. Good luck buddy.
I'm in a similar situation, I'm just older, haha. I don't have a credit card either - to buy anything online I have to clear it with my mom first and pay her back for it. I don't know if you're into cosplay or anything, but many people with breasts will bind if they want to cosplay a male character, and some people who want to bind for other reasons will explain it to their parents that way. I actually just kinda worked up the nerve to just tell my mom I wanted a binder and while that interaction wasn't great, she didn't outright say no and didn't get mad. I think she was more confused than anything, even though I've TOLD her (heck, she was the first person I told) that I'm not really certain where I fit in on the gender spectrum (although really, I think that confused her too...). Honestly, the anxiety about approaching her was worse than approaching her actually was. It didn't go as well as I hoped, but didn't go as badly as I feared either. Obviously though, all parents are different.... I would encourage you to approach your mom about it (parents can surprise you!), but if you REALLY don't feel like you can approach your mom about it, you could maybe ask one of your friends or another family member who might be understanding to order it in for you? Alternately, although I know you said you don't like bras, I know sometimes people will use sports bras a variety of ways (buying a few sizes down and layering if not flat enough, wearing one normally and one backwards... you can find a few techniques with these anyways) instead of a binder, so that's an option if all bras aren't super triggering for you. A lot of sports bras can be found in fairly plain colours so they don't all have to be super girly! Good luck!!
My parents bought me my first one at 14 when I told them it was for cosplay and fashion shoots. Just make sure you wean yourself. Start with a large size and work down until you're comfortable ok? With that warning aside, I think it's best to take it slow with her if she's not the most open type of person. You could also tell her it's to get your breast out the way when doing any sports or exercise. I've met girls who do this. Light sports of course but breasts can get in your way if your doing gymnastics and that sort of stuff.
I agree with that, I don't think you need to talk gender or how you feel with them... escpecially if you think they might react badly and not let you get one. Coming out can happen later.
