safety concerns

I have noticed the opposite in my case I definitely feel safer going out and don't always look over my shoulder anymore if I'm out at night. I have become more aware of how women react to me, before transition if I passed a woman in the street sometimes they would smile or say hello but now that I'm starting to pass as male they normally avoid eye contact and people in general are not as friendly. Only a few weeks ago I was walking home, it was dark and I took a short cut through a laneway and there was a woman coming the opposite direction but when she seen me she quickly turned and walked away so I looked behind me to see what scared her it took me a minute to realize it was me :/

 

Just a thought though. If no woman she knows would EVER stop at a closed station for gas, then WHY do they all think something would happen if they did?

Obviously things DO happen to people, but are you really going to stop doing things that seem perfectly natural to you just because other women don't?

 

Call me cautious but I treat all people that way. Regardless of gender mostly because females can be as messed up as males. To think that females don't rape, mug, and violate others is pretty ignorant.

There is nothing wrong with going to a gas station at night, but completely alone is something a lot of females won't do just because of the media inspired horror stories of dark alleys.

 

Unfortunately its a bit of a byproduct of rape culture. Most cisgender females have been raised within this culture (at least in the US and Canada, I can't speak for other countries) where rape is becoming increasingly likely, the way that young cis boys are raised sometimes encourages later issues with boundaries or accepting 'no' for an answer ('no' is taken as a challenge, an invitation to push more until a 'yes' comes out, not actually just 'no'), and often women are blamed for their own rape or the onus is placed on them to avoid it. Society often tells women "Don't get raped" instead of telling men "Don't rape". Women raping men is certainly an issue but they are not identical - men recover and deal with rape much differently than women do (generally), and statistically a woman raping a man is far less likely than a man raping a woman. Additionally, people will sometimes point out that men get raped too as a way of trivializing or invalidating female victims of rape. Rape is a worry for all people of all genders, it can happen to anyone, but men are not generally raised to be on alert and paranoid about it at all times. Because of rape culture and the pressure on women to fend for themselves and avoid rape on their own, you see behaviours that sometimes aren't even done intentionally to avoid rape or sexual assault that show up in women but don't typically in men (i.e.: doing more activities/going out more in groups as opposed to alone, avoiding walking alone at night/in sketchy or poorly lit areas). I worked at a vet clinic for a year and had to walk any dogs we had in on the clinic's property at the beginning and end of the evening. Even though I live in a fairly quiet area with a very low crime rate, I would NEVER walk the dogs on the area of lawn at the side/back of the clinic where there were no lights when it was dark out. I would keep to the front of the clinic where the area was well lit, and I remember being very nervous when groups of men passed on the sidewalk or a car would stop for what I considered an unusually long time at the side of the road near where I had the dogs out. Even though I live in a very quiet, crime-free area, and even if I had a big strong dog with me, I would STILL be on edge/get nervous in these situations. Its often just how women are raised to act and react, whether they realize it or not. Don't feel like you HAVE to act that way purely because other women do (its hard to suddenly learn a bunch of societally ingrained behaviours and fears, especially ones that you shouldn't even have to have), but it is something to be aware of, and for all these reasons cis women MAY not understand where you're coming from because its not 'natural' behaviour to them. These aren't hard and fast rules, of course, just common trends, but yeah.... food for thought.

 

A lot of women believe that, but it's not actually true. It's based on the myth of 'stranger danger' - the idea that most rape is done by men who don't know their victims. In reality, though, stranger rape is extremely rare. About 95% of rape victims knew the rapist, with the largest category of rape being date rape.

So don't worry about being alone outside at night. But do play it safe if you're going on a date - don't leave your drink unattended, make sure you don't have to depend on your date for a ride home, etc.

 

I'm cautious in general. Over the years I have looked up various safety and survival tips. While the specifics may change depending on the situation, the basics remain the same. Think before you act, be aware of your surroundings, and prepare as best you can for any scenarios. That's why I generally carry a few items that have a large number of applications.

 

Look... Safe rule of thumb. Never go somewhere you aren't comfortable. Simple. People's comfort levels are different.