Hey, this would be my first posting on here. I just need some gender advice about FTM x.x I'm not entirely sure if what I'm feeling is correct, or if I should pursue what I'm feeling. I'll just quit beating around the bush. I've been lesbian for about five years now, and I'm in a relationship with a wonderful girl for about a year now. I'm seventeen, but I never had acknowledged these feelings until one of my transgender friends came up to me and talked to me about this. She asked me if I was transgender myself, if I desired to be a male. I said I didn't know because I never had thought about it hard before. I mean I did have the thoughts now and then but they never were a big deal to me until now. She told me about gender therapy and what to do and who can help. But right now, I'm not even sure if what I'm feeling is correct. I asked my girlfriend if she'd be okay if I ever had a transition to being a male. She said she'd support and love me no matter what. So on that matter, it's okay. Now getting this across to my family is going to be harder. It was hard enough having to explain to my parents that I'm lesbian (if I am). My dad still doesn't support myself and my girlfriend. My mother has grown to understand my situation. Half my family supports me, some of them don't and others just don't know. My friends don't care as long as I'm happy. But all of this just didn't happen in a day, it took time for everyone to understand. I didn't discover I felt attraction to women until I was twelve and it wasn't until I was sixteen that stress started to die down about my sexuality. Now that I've gotten the basics across. I wanna explain what I'm feeling and/or if it's true or not. My friend asked me if I was transgender and if I had feelings about desiring to be a male. Like I said, I didn't know. I try to portray myself as a very masculine female. I dress in men's clothes and I have the behaviors as the dominant/male part in a lesbian relationship. But most of the time, I don't feel that I'm masculine enough. I feel very girly even though I try my hardest not to look or act like it. On the outside, I don't feel myself. I look in the mirror every day and I just don't feel right. My girlfriend said I should try cutting my hair short, but I don't want to try that. Because I honestly don't think I could pull it off. But I really have no idea what to do, if my feelings are what they are and/or if I should pursue such. I hope some of you can give me some advice on my situation. It would really help a lot.
Hi, we can hardly tell you how you are feeling. And it can take a long time (months, years) till you figure it out. Being trans is not like having a broken leg. No one can look at you and say: you have it. And even if you feel like a man, it doesn't mean that you have to transition. It's about what makes you happy. If cutting your hair would make you feel miserable, don't do it. If you like being called a girl's name, that's ok too. If there is anything you don't like, try to change it and see if the change will make you happier. If being a dominant masculine woman feels right, there is no need to push for being a man. If you transition, people (even strangers) will trait you differently. Because people treat men and women differently. Will you like it? We can't tell you that
Welcome to EC IronDragon There is one thing that seems to be common to your whole issue at the moment. Other People. Your friend put the idea in your head. You girlfriend says you should try cutting your hair short. You worry your family will prevent you from experimenting and if necessary expressing yourself in whatever way you need to. But aside from where you say you don't feel 'right' or 'masculine enough', we don't get to hear your thoughts...and I'm not sure you do either! You sound like you're quite wound up in this idea your friend has given you. The idea that wanting to be more masculine means you must be male inside. Now your friend was almost certainly trying to be helpful, so please don't think I want you to be angry with your friend or anything! But what do YOU want. Do you want to be more masculine, or do you want to be a man? What do those things even mean? Are they different?
^^^ Oh, I need to learn to express my thoughts like Holly can do it OP, I had the same feeling from your post. Your friend may just want an ally. They mean no harm, I am sure, but don't let them plant doubts in your head, if the discomfort was not already there.
