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Worried about a close friend of mine, advice?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by AidenTranello, Mar 9, 2014.

  1. AidenTranello

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    I have a close female friend who identifies herself as gender fluid and has for years. She's 19. She shifts genders often, waking up feeling male then waking up feeling female. She struggles greatly with this, particularly recently because of a sexual assault incident. A male committed attempted sexual assault on her and since then she has been extremely troubled, feeling vulnerable as female and weak as a male.

    I don't know how to help her and would appreciate any advice from the community. I care about her deeply and don't know how to best help her. I want her to get counseling for the attempted assault but it's so much more than that.

    Are there good resources here or online where she can go for her gender fluidity? She doesn't feel comfortable in her own skin and feels empty and hollow with no confidence.

    I've tried talking about the incident with her and help the best I can but I can only do so much and I'm increasingly worried for her. She battles depression (currently on anti depressants) and I don't want her to give up on herself. She's an incredible individual whom I love dearly.

    Thanks for any advice or help.
     
  2. Kasey

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    Be there for her. Lead her our way.

    The attempted assault thing I don't think we can help with that much, leave that to therapists and counselors.

    As far as gender fluidity is concerned, that doesn't mean it is a direct product of her assault, but it may be causing her distress for the reasons you cited. Also does she happen to have bipolar? Cycling moods like that aren't necessarily a gender fluid thing but certainly can also be a factor.

    I mean I wish you the best and she should be happy she has such a caring friend.
     
  3. AidenTranello

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    She was gender fluid long before the assault but it has created
    much more uncertainty and hopelessness. I don't believe she is bipolar but definitely suffers from depression as I mentioned. She has had a rough last 4-5 years, dealing with her identity and gender plus a divorce etc. I believe she blames herself for a lot of things, including the way she identifies herself and it's uncertainty and she most assuredly blames herself for the assault.

    I love her dearly and live thousands of miles away which makes her pain even harder because I can only help with words not direct actions.

    Please continue to supply advice. I will attempt to point her in this direction but I have discovered she fights these battles alone as some sort of self punishment when she should be getting help. It's a complex situation and I'm scared and worried.

    Thank you again for everything.
     
  4. Kasey

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    Like I said, here is a wonderful place for any matter LGBT.

    The whole long distance thing makes supporting her how you want to very hard. Can you visit her ever? Skype? Something to keep in good contact? A more personal level of contact might help her out and make her seek help if she hasn't done so yet.
     
  5. AidenTranello

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    No I can't visit her. We're almost half a planet away from each other. We keep in touch regularly via messaging and voice chats.

    I will continue to encourage her. Thank you for the support