Orientation confusion/binding

You're not a weirdo. I promise. You're just figuring things out. People are always saying that you don't have to find a label. I do agree with that, but when you are so confused you kind of need to find one to straighten things out and to start finding specific resources for support. To me, it sounds like you know who you are. There just isn't a fancy name for it yet.

If I had to guess, I would say you could be a biromantic asexual. Even though you said you don't like the idea of a relationship, you did state that you are attracted to both genders. So, therefore, you may have SOME desire for a relationship. However small that desire is. Anyways, hope this helps a bunch. I know how tough it is to feel completely lost. Maybe you should bring the subject up to your mom just to test the waters.

As for binding, you can take gauze or ace bandages and tightly wrap it. Just limit how long you do this because it isn't healthy after a certain point. I've heard of some people wearing a sport bra and a tight tank top over that and then putting a shirt on or so.

 

Just like Csp1993 said, there's nothing wrong with you. Just because you aren't sure what labels you want to use yet doesn't mean that your experiences are weird.

It sounds as if your situation may be a bit confusing for you to find out, though. Remember that your sexual and romantic orientations may not line up. You may be biromantic asexual or aromantic bisexual. Does it seem as if you can experience sexual attraction but not romantic attraction? Or can you experience romantic attraction but not sexual attraction? Also remember that there are gray areas. If you only feel sexual/romantic attraction occasionally or only experience it on a low level, you might be gray-asexual or gray-romantic or both. Also, there's the possibility that you might be demisexual or demiromantic (only sexually/romantically attracted to people after you form a strong bond with them). You might want to think about that a bit if it might help you.

Also, I'd like to point out an orientation you may not have heard of that sounds a bit similar to some of what you describe. Lithromantic is a term that is used to describe people who develop crushes and feel romantic attraction but do not need to have it returned. For them, just the feeling of liking someone is enough and some may even be upset or uncomfortable about the idea of the person liking them back. They may find the idea of being in a relationship to be nice but they do not particularly desire to be in a relationship (or may even dislike actual relationships). There is also lithsexual, where people find others sexually attractive but do not wish to act upon their feelings. In some cases, someone who is lithsexual may fantasize about sexual activities but not desire to participate in them in real life. If any of this sounds like you you may want to research on the terms a bit more. I might go ahead and tell you that these terms aren't accepted by everyone, but they are growing popularity, and I say that if it's useful to you why not use it?

About the binding, you should know that it is never a good idea to use ace bandages. Ace bandages are made to constrict around a wound when it swells, and that means that if you use it to bind it will grow tighter around your rib age with each breath you take. This is obviously a bad thing and it is very easy to pass out this way because it is more difficult to breathe. I'm not sure about how effective gauze would be, but since it is also made to wrap injuries it might just have the same effect.

Another thing you should never use is duct tape. Because duct tape is so strong, if you put it on yourself in large amounts like you would need to bind, it can rip skin off when you try to remove it. I've heard of some people putting on sports bras and tight tank tops and then using duct tape over the shirt, but you would have to be careful that you didn't get the tape on your skin and there's still the possibility that you might tear your shirt.

I'd say your best bet is to just use a sports bra and a tight undershirt. It might help if you used two sport bras (I have a trans friend that does that) or if you got a smaller size (as long as it's not small enough to hurt you).