FTM questions

It's awesome you've accepted yourself! ride: Sorry I don't know about getting testosterone, as I'm too young to get it.

 

congratulations on your decision. if there are lgbt groups near you they might be able to point you in the right direction.

 

Congrats on accepting yourself - totes amazing. I'm pretty sure you won't be able to start receiving hormone therapy until you have had some serious psychiatric counselling for a significant period of time. I'm not suggesting you have a mental illness in anyway, shape, or form, but to physically transition is a big deal - emotionally, psychologically, and physically. I'm not doubting your need to do it at all but as you pointed out but not only have you not come out to your family about your sexual orientation I'm also assuming you haven't come out about your transgender status also.

Psychiatric counselling will help get yourself ready for transition but it will also give you strategies in dealing with your family (and friends?) who, even if they are totally accepting, will have a lot to process too. And that's assuming they will be accepting, which they may not be, and is another reason counselling is a good thing as it will help instill confidence into you about your decision and perhaps help you with coping strategies should you face any rejection.

Not trying to be a Negative Nellie by the way. Just so you know I am in a similar position to you but I'm thinking about going the other way - MTF - but I'm not as certain as you are. Hence my small goal this week is to get a referral to a therapist to figure this out.

You should google something like "therapists specialing with LGBTI issues + your city/state".

 

I haven't taken T yet myself, but I've asked around and have been doing some research, so I hope this helps.
First you have to see a gender therapist. Not a regular one, but one that specializes in this stuff. Then, you have to get a referral for T from them. Then you have to see an endocrinologist. Taking T is also a bit expensive, so be prepared for that.

Now for passing... idealy, you should get a binder (to hold your chest down) and a packer (to give you a 'bulge'). If you can't get a binder, if you're small enough wearing a sports bra, or even a loose shirt will do. However, do not, and I repeat do not use Ace bandages or anything similar. It doesn't matter if someone else has done it, or it was on TV. It's not good for you, and can cause serious breathing problems. The bandages are supposed to constrict when they are loosened (like when you breathe). So don't use those. Tape isn't a great thing to use either. For a packer, once again if you can't get one, then use a sock and put it in your boxers, briefs, or whatever you wear. I use a safety pin to keep it in place, but if you can't find one then you could improvise with something else. Just be careful, it'd be kinda akward if it fell out in public. =P

Also try talking lower. Not too low, otherwise you'll sound weird. Record your voice on your phone or find a friend to tell you if you're too deep or too high or whatever.

There are also many feminine mannerisms that you should avoid. Like try not to walk with one foot in front of the other, spread them out a bit. Standing with your hip out, or putting your hand on your hip should be avoided too. Just look at guys around you and try to imitate them.

Let's see, clothes. Wearing girl jeans is not at all preferable. They will probably give you away, because they are cut to the shape of girls, while guy jeans are cut straight. Be careful with shirts with patterns or stripes on them, because (usually in the case of patterns, almost always with stripes) it will look bent around the chest area. Some patterns won't bend or at least not enough to notice, so just check in the mirror to see how it looks around there. Other than that, I guess just shop in the guy's section.

Coming out advice... well, guess whenever the time isn't bad. Whenever it feels right for you, just come out and say it, speak your mind. Sorry I'm not really helpful in this area, I can't think of much to put here, Maybe someone else has more to say on it.

Other than that, don't forget to be you, that's why you're doing this in the first place, right? And there are others around that have way more experience than me that could probably helpyou more on this. I'm just out of the closet myself. =D Good luck A!

 

You may want to start researching. Start looking up before and after pictures of guys on T, look up the effects of T, the pros AND cons, look up EVERYTHING. Don't rush it, either. Give yourself lots of time to think about if this is something you really want. Try not to sugar-coat it for yourself, because this is a very serious and life-changing decision. Think about if you can deal with the negatives that come along with the positives. Think about how life will change.

Then, consider ways of talking to your parents. You don't need to say "mom, I think I'm transgendered". Just say "I'm questioning gender identity, and want to learn more. I think I might see a therapist for a while". This will make it less intense, and will again give you more time to sort things out.

 

@Yunek. Wow. It's reassuring to see people a fair bit younger than me that know what they're talking about!

You might already have a 'male' walk without realising it. My doctor told me I do. I'll make a feeble attempt at explaining it to you. Stand up straight. You can lean your back against a wall if this is difficult. Throw your shoulders back. Do not lean forward or backward. Hold your arms out like a zombie to figure out the center of balance. Now put your hands in your pockets and try to walk straight without lowering your head. Try to keep your toes pointed forward. Yunek is correct about the feet not being too close together. The most important thing is to be relaxed during it. Practice until it becomes easy, then unleash it on the street!

I do know some resources but I dunno if I'm allowed to link them. I started reading 'em when I was 15 but not seriously until I was 17. There's a hella lot more information now and of course plenty vocal FTM. I think it's great, the only problem is I fear you might read some misleading stuff. Don't take one person's opinion. Read many. Make informed decisions. And yet I ask you to trust me for this message, haha.

If you bind incorrectly you'll almost certainly cause yourself more problems than simply difficulty breathing. You should get something reputable like underworks. I'm out of the loop when it comes to binding, thus I'm hardly the best guy to ask about it.

For the love of all that is holy don't wear extremely baggy clothes. If you haven't already then you should buy mens' clothing. It truly is up to you what you want to wear, although you'll most likely have a better chance of passing in male clothes.

Also take the bad with the good. You might encounter new annoyances in your life if people see you as male. I recommend you get into some male clothes and work on passing firstly. See if that feels like you.

Don't trust everything you read on the internet about T. It's probably not gonna kill you if you take it under expert guidance. However, it'll likely have far more dramatic appearance changes than you can imagine right now. This should be a discussion between you and a professional.

If you take T you won't be able to hide who you are from people. You'll have to come out sooner or later. If your family are good they'll know this is what shall make you happy. You might have to explain it to them. As long as you don't make it seem like the worst thing in the world they should eventually accept it. Mine didn't, but I digress. If you know you're a guy then you're in for a tough battle and you must arm yourself with knowledge to survive.

 

First off congrats on accepting yourself! I know how hard that can be. One thing to think about though, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater in all this. if you want to change some of the stereotypically feminine mannerisms and such you've picked up over the years of being expected to be female then go for it, but don't start correcting you in the process. This whole process is all about figuring out who you are and showing that person to the world. If your not a stereotypical guy, then don't try to be. I totally understand wanting to be read as male by others but T will take care of that, and in the mean time present in whatever way is the most comfortable and relieves your dysphoria the most. personally I do try to speak with a lower voice, bind, and mostly wear male clothing (though sort of a more punk androgynous style) but I don't pack and I havnt made a huge effort to change mannerisms and all. That being said I know other transguys who have done everything I havnt because that is what makes them the most comfortable. Totally repeating myself but just do you, don't just try to be what everyone expects a guy to be. All of these suggestions will help you be read as a guy but make sure your comfortable doing them! Best of luck finding a therapist too, I totally agree with everyone else that that is a great next step to take. Just make absolutely sure that you like the one you end up with and that they know what their talking about. The first person I went to didn't know jack s*** about trans* issues and just made things worse. I have an appointment next week with a wonderful women who seems like she is really going to help. Don't just settle with the first one you find, you need to be able to talk to them about ANYTHING. Wishing you the absolute best luck in all this, were all behind you here!