I am an Autoandrophile...anyone else?

I've never heard of this. o.o I've had phantom limb syndrome with that area before, but that's about it.

 

Never heard of this either. Seconding the phantom limb syndrome- it's been a while since I've experienced it but I've had incidents where it's been so vivid that when I reach down, it's honestly a huge shock that there's nothing there. So when I pack my boxers, it's actually a really nice feeling having something (even if it's small) there that feels tangible.

I used to think, however, that I was something similar to what you'd described. That my desire to be male was just some weird fetish. It really wasn't until I experimented with my gender presentation that I realized that in all areas of my life, presenting male really did feel better/more natural.

So I dunno. I've never heard of anyone where this is an explicit fetish, persay.

 

I believe in being respectful, but "autogynephilia" and "autoandrophilia" are controversial terms not accepted by either the psychiatric or medical communities as a whole. They are both championed by a single doctor named Ray Blanchard.

I won't argue with you if you want to use these terms or if they have given you some peace. Just realize that they have proven harmful to the process of development and self discovery of other trans people, and caused the reenforcement of negative stereotypes as a pre-requisite for trans people seeking it getting any sort of medical or psychiatric help whatsoever. Especially women.

This issue strikes especially close to home to gay men and women, like myself. I want to make one thing perfectly clear. Being gay does not make you any less of a man or a woman. It is true that I was socialized, at one point, to be more comfortable with the idea of liking women than liking men. However, as I have transitioned, and liking men has become more "normal" to me, I have felt a lot of disappointment and negative feelings toward my own womanhood as I continued to prefer women exclusively, to the point that I would call it dysphoria over never "switching over". I heard early on it happens with some of us, and secretly hoped it would happen to me. It didn't happen to me, and although I have tried several times to think of men "in that way" in a positive sense, it simply won't work. I continue to feel toward being with other men, the same way I feel toward myself as a man. Ideas such as "autogynephilia" were an obstacle to my fully accepting myself, and yet another thing making me feel terrible about myself and less like a "real" woman.

I am mentioning this, because I would like everyone claiming this label to understand that the peace it may have brought you, does not make the idea worth anything to anyone else, no matter how similar to you you think they are.

I, as a transitioning transsexual woman, take a "what's good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander" approach toward giving advice, and have worked with several people on this site who have decided not to transition or do other things I have done to make my life work. I would strongly urge anyone who claims "autogynephilia" or "autoandrophilia" to do the same. Just realize that other people have their own unique needs, and helping them discover themselves is more important than them adopting what worked for you. Other people calling themselves the same name you call yourself does not make your ideas more or less right.

I would also like to leave this link here, http://www.tsroadmap.com/notes/index.php/site/comments/julia_serano_the_case_against_autogynephilia/ . I strongly encourage everyone participating in this thread to read that link.

I'm not interested in any kind of debate and won't be engaging with this thread. This is not a dialog, this is a disclaimer.

 

Omgs, I dont know what to say......... :0 wow, another label..........i honestly dont know if i like this label or not.......... :00

 

Is this just as in someone getting aroused by the idea of having the parts etc? As in you could be sitting at a desk at work and imagining you have boobs/penis and getting turned on? Or sitting on the bus in a pair of boxers/thong and getting off?

Or is it more about having the parts in order to have sex?

 

This is a can of worms but the reason why is pretty simple. Words like this have two meanings. There's the original meaning, and the way it's used.

The original meaning has a short story. Once upon a time the psychiatric community had this theory that there were two reasons someone changed sexes. They thought it was either an extreme form of gayness, or a sexual fetish. I will mention here that the author of this theory supported some people in both groups transitioning.

When later some famous people with a lot of money transitioned for the wrong reasons, people started putting measures in place to prevent the wrong people in general from transitioning. As often happens when famous people with lots of money have problems. And everyone in the second group - in other words, anyone not attracted to their assigned sex - was according to this theory doing it for the wrong reasons. This led to a lot of misogynistic crap people had to adopt if they wanted to change their physical sex.

So that's the ugly history behind the word and why it makes people like me bristle a little bit.

The way it is used now might be different. I have seen people use that word, that don't look at transsexuality that way at all. The psychiatric community has not looked at things that way in decades. So that's why it's a can of worms. Basically, I can't come in here and say "OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING DON'T USE THAT WORD" without becoming something I don't like. It's not like other words that you can just deem offensive, because what are you saying is offensive? People admitting to a sexual fetish (in their view at least)? I'm not going to attack that! I have friends in fetish communities, they get enough in the way of crap they don't deserve.

So I end up neutral on it, and making replies like the one above. I personally hate the term a lot, as well as its ugly history, but I'm not going to let that hate lead me to do things that could only hurt people. And the fact is that there are people out there, that found that word, and made it theirs. It's helping them lead meaningful lives. I'm not going to screw that up for them.

So instead I will just be plain about what the word means to me, and take a live and let live position. That's all I really can do.

 

Sorry I'm still not sure on what this means. :-S

 

Cassie, thanks for the clarity of that explanation. It helps me make sense of some of the stuff I've been reading, especially why those particular words are so emotionally charged for some folks. Your overview of the history is enlightening.

 

I think these two should be separate things:
the idea of oneself as the opposite sex being the main thing in a fantasy/dressing/something
oneself just happening to be the opposite sex than physically, but that being not the main point of fantasy... just a necessary pre-requisite for the whole fantasy to work.

I first thought I was autoandrophile when I read about it, but I've come to the conclusion that I am the latter one. I just have to imagine myself as a guy first, before I can have a fantasy of a guy...

I also think this is about sexual identity, for me at least. I only started crossdreaming about year and half ago but after I started it has been the only way I fantasize. I just never got the idea earlier, but I always struggled with my fantasies. It used to be hard to get aroused because having to fantasize about sex with myself as a female just felt too weird, unnatural and so on (and still does), so I didn't really know how to fantasize ”well”.

 

Old thread, but I believe I am this too. Don't feel trans, but always fantasize about having male parts.

 

I can relate to this, woman fantasizing about a woman having a penis. I am born male. I have always known that I was female inside but with the wrong tools, and raised as a boy in a very large family of boys. I have discovered that I do have a vagina that is imaginary, I use my soft member as a clit and my bag as the rest of the appendage for satisfaction, I use vibrators, lots of lube on my scrotum an penis and there is my male vagina. I don't get hard anymore but can climax in my brain any how. sex is not what you are born with but what you brain interprets it as. good luck.

 

Moderators. Please move this to either the sexuality or sexual health forum as this pertains to eroticism and not gender identity or expression. Thank you.

 

x2

 

Personally, I think that this thread should stay here as an example of why this does not relate to gender identity and expression. The OP posted this here for a reason, and that reason was because they thought that it belonged here. In reality, it does not, but this can be used as an education tool in the future for why these discussions do not belong here.

 

I agree with Brad. I feel like I made my position pretty clear. Again,

I also feel like the tone of this thread has made it hard for a hateful person to build off it.

We're not here to promote politics. We're here to help people that are having a hard time being who they are. Sometimes other people come here who have an axe to grind, but it's my belief that you can always meet people like that with a kind word or two and they'll look for a fight elsewhere. So if that is your concern, I don't think that is going to happen here.

 

Okay, I can understand how this might not belong in the "gender" forum, but how exactly is it offensive? Just because someone has a fetish for having opposite sex genitalia doesn't mean they disrespect trans identities. Nobody can help their fetishes.

 

Hi Fallingdown,

I don't consider it offensive in and of itself, if someone has a fetish. I went into detail earlier as to why the terms "autoandrophilia" and "autogynephilia" are, however.

I can be a little more brief here though. Autogynephilia is a philosophy that promotes the idea that if a transsexual woman is not attracted to men, they aren't "really" transsexual. It also reduces the motivation for everyone that changes sex to purely sexual reasons, whether they are attracted to men or women. I think it is very easy to see why it's offensive.

Of course, someone might not mean it that way when they say it. But that line of reasoning can be used to defend any turn of phrase no matter how ugly.

 

What do you mean?you didn't have a clue what kind of fantasies you liked early on? did it come to you out of a sudden? So did you avoid fantasizing yourself as a woman during sex before?