1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What can I do for self care?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by LittleBlackStar, Mar 18, 2014.

  1. LittleBlackStar

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2014
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Okay so, my therapist told me that I should do things for self care such as painting my nails on the weekend or something like that to keep me out of my dark place. My problem is that I already do that every weekend but now I don’t really feel any better after I do it. It used to make me really happy but not so much anymore. I don’t have any ideas on what I could do for self care now. I hate looking like a boy and that’s one thing keeping me down but I can’t really change my appearance. I’m really confused and I don’t know what to do. I mean confused about what to do for self care not, like, gender or anything. Sorry if this was too long or stupid. I’m also sorry if I waste anyones time.
     
  2. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    There are a few problems with this whole 'self care' thing.

    1. It only works if you actually wanted to do those things anyway - You can paint your nails all you like but it's only going to make you feel better if you wanted to do it anyway!

    2. It's like having your hand cut off and putting on a single, small bandage. Sure it might help a BIT and it externally it looks like it might be an improvement, but it's really not going to do what you need it to.

    So ask yourself this.

    What do you WANT to do. Forget everyone else for a minute and just think about what you would like to do to yourself if nobody was going to mention it.

    For me, I would wear a skirt in my bedroom while everyone was gone. It meant shaving off all my body hair. It meant putting a bunch of pillows down my bed to simulate a guy and snuggling on top of them because it made me feel girly.

    So what do you WANT to do?
     
  3. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Not a waste of time trying to be happy with yourself. First of all you need to look at it outside of gender. Are you eating well? Sleeping? How about exercise? Those things will affect anyone's wellbeing. You should try working on those no matter who or what you are.

    As far as gender goes you should start taking small steps. Painting your nails is good. Other small steps like changing your hairstyle or moving towards more androgynous clothing if you can't simply make the switch to feminine attire.

    Make small steps.