I guess this could fit in "Later in Life" as well as here, but I'll start here since gender identity is a more pressing issue than my age. (Firs what it's worth, I'm 51.) I've got a good counselor who I think will be able to give me some good guidance, but it will be a couple of weeks until I see her and I want to start doing some thinking out loud. Here's what I can say with some confidence: I was born with standard-issue male genitals. I was socialized male, and have always presented as male. Aside from being fairly mechanically handy, I seem to have missed many of the activities and interests that I think of as typically male. Sports? Meh. Cars? Meh. Shooting things? Ick! Aggressive, rough-and-tumble play? Eww! I've always been way, way more comfortable with women -- as friends, co-workers, supervisors, therapists, doctors, roommates. With regard to my sexual wiring, it's been a pretty consistent pattern that I crush out on the queer girl in the crowd. Zero attraction to men, very little attraction to stereotypically femme women. (I have no idea how to unpack that, but there it is.) The event that set off my current cascade of insights was a couple of weeks ago when I was in a (stop me if this is TMI) play-date with a couple of queer girls. I started feeling left out, but it hit me that it wasn't because I wanted to"do" either one if them, but because I wanted to BE one of them. I'll stop rambling now, but if anybody wants to give me any feedback I'll soak it up with gratitude.
Hi there! So you're questioning your gender identity? I have a question for you, how would you feel if people started calling you a woman? Like if they started using female pronouns rather than male pronouns. Called you Ma'am instead of sir. Things like that. Also, would you feel better if you wore clothing that was more feminine?
I think I'd be absolutely fine with Ma'am. I sometimes do a double-take when I get "Sir" I don't think I experience much discomfort with having a penis, but what I've realized over the past few weeks is that I have a real longing for breasts and hip-curves. I'm experimenting with wearing a sports bra under my regular clothes, and I was surprised at how comfortable that feels -- I'd almost describe it as soothing. I've tried to picture myself dressing as a woman, and frankly what I keep seeing is an almost stereotypical butch lesbian. I've wished for years that I had wider choices in clothing (ie the option of non-bifurcated clothes below the belt) and yet I'm not sure how often I would would choose anything other than jeans, t-shirts and loose-fitting shirts.
