I was watching porn today when suddenly hit me some kind of sadness that there are things I'd like to do to a woman in bed but cannot because of having no real "stuff" down there. I'm a non-binary FAAB who identifies as both male and woman, but most of my sexual fantasies center around me being a man. I don't have any experience with women yet but it seems to me that sexually I'm more man and romantically more woman. What I felt today, was it slight dysphoria? I used to bind as a child but since then I'd felt no dysphoria even though from time to time there were moments when I imagined myself having a penis and being intimate with women. I wonder what will happen when I have sex with a woman for real. I seriously don't know what to expect, should I expect being dysphoric? Is it usual for androgynes, genderfluids, genderqueers in general to feel dysphoria during sex? Thanks.
It's worth remembering that 'dysphoria' is just a 'feeling of unease' or when something is hard to bear. (In other words that is exactly what it was). Perhaps you will feel dysphoric during sex, I'm worried about that myself!
Yes, what you experienced was dysphoria. I definitely know how dysphoria feels, especially in the context of sex, and myself and others have found ways to work around it (though some things work differently for others, of course). My bits don't bother me as much as my overall body configuration does, although I would rather have been born with a penis. I can't speak for everyone, and it's not uncommon for non-binaries to experience it... but perhaps, and if you happen to experience dysphoria on those contexts, it's something you can discuss with your partner and find ways to alleviate it.
Sounds like dysphoria to me. I've never had sex, so I can't say that I've been dysphoric during it. But just the thought of having sex as a female makes me feel uneasy. If I had all the manly parts, then I do believe I'd feel differently. If you do feel dysphoric during sex though, definitely talk with your partner and maybe you can figure something out that eases it.
I've felt dysphoric for the same thoughts. I have two kids, so yeah I've had sex, but I haven't had sex since I figured out (kinda) this whole gender thing, haha. So I couldn't say. I've never really had a libido, so even sex before finding about the whole gender thing was kind of eh. I don't know if that was because of dysphoria, it's made me think a whole lot about my past sex life, wondering if I had a penis would I really have a libido. Like maybe the dysphoria is the reason I couldn't really enjoy sex at all or maybe it's just because I'm demisexual (even then I don't have libido). Sorry I can't give you a straight answer, but yeah I get dysphoric about stuff like that.
If it was possible, I'd give you my downstairs mix-up. In fact, I'd pay you to take it! But dysphoria happens, unfortunately. It sucks, but we persevere!
Thank you for your responses everyone. (*hug*) Change is for the better, not for perfection, I think.
