I was going to make this anonymous but I figured, why beat around the bush? So tonight, had huge onslaught of bottom dysphoria- probably worst I've had in a while. And no points for guessing what brought it on. But coupled by the sight of looking in the mirror and seeing nothing- no bulge, body looks weird and foreign without something there- and knowing something was there that shouldn't, I got really dysphoric. Had this water sleeve thing I'd seen on Tumblr (basically a condom, a water bottle, and it's supposed to help you get off if you're a dysphoric trans guy). Made it loads worse, just kind of drove home the point I'm lacking something I should've had. Seriously. How do you deal with bottom dysphoria while still dealing with needing to deal with certain frustrations? Because I really don't want to be with someone and completely ruin the moment because I got dysphoric.
It doesn't help all that much but when I get bottom dysphoria, I remind myself that it is what it is. I don't have the parts I should have been born with that all cis guys have (unless they have been victim of an unfortunate accident). I guess I try to see my bits more as 'functional' even though they seem anything but. It's hard to explain.
This probably isn't going to be the most helpful idea for you, but when I get bottom dysphoria, I tend to try to tuck, and otherwise eliminate the appearance of the bulge. It doesn't help that I'm not out at all, and generally expected to wear guys clothing, and most guys pants are designed to visually enhance the buldge. Sure, it's not to the same extent as codpieces were, but still....
Whenever I get dysphoric I workout. Work on gains, because it for one distracts me, and two I feel like I am doing something in my power to improve. Sometimes fake dicks make it worse because you know it's not really there. I avoid mirrors when I'm naked, and I wear loose fitting pants to trick myself into thinking I have something but my loose pants hide it.
Yeah. For me it's really been hit or miss. Sometimes I can mentally distance myself enough from it or be able to think about things as something like "Oh, well I still have a cock, it's just pathetic looking." Ignoring? Works at times but only gets me so far. Because see, packing helped but it didn't do miracles. And it does, at times, make me feel loads worse. "oh well it's not real" And I honestly cringe at the idea of say, having sex, and then going up to my partner and saying "Sorry. I left my dick in the nightstand. Let me go fetch it." Seems really fucking stupid that it's not just part of me in the first place and I have to wear some prosphetic to do what a cisguy's born doing. So I avoid mirrors and all that shit. For most part, until I accidentally catch sight of myself, it works. So, yeah....
When i get bad dysphoria i try to find something to distract myself. It doesn't aways work but the best way for me is to put on my headphones and go running because you can't focus on anything other than where your going when you run or if you don't want to go out try reading,writing,drawing,tv,music or something that takes your full attention.
I have bottom and top dysphoria (does it count if I'm technically not diagnosed??) and if I try to do some type of packing then I still feel bad... Same thing with binding me chest because it makes me feel all fake-ish.
Yeah, still counts. Never been officially diagnosed either, hah. But sorry to hear it. Binding/packing's really done loads to make me feel better/more natural but yeah. As soon as you undress, it's kind of it "yeah, gotta take off everything that makes me feel like a guy".
I find bottom dysphoria is worst when going to the washroom. It's kind of unavoidable then. To aid this in a way, StP's help a bit. Also, wearing boxers helps for the majority of the time. As for top dysphoria, I enjoy researching successful top surgeries when feeling crappy. Thinking, "yeah, I could totally get that done", and knowing that having a chest doesn't need to be a permanent thing. A top surgery is within reach, and you've just got to hold on and wait patiently for what you want. Usually these two things combined help me get over feeling like crap 90% of the time.
Yeah, that's when bottom dysphoria tends to hit. Hoping once I get a proper StP it'll help. I wear boxers- helps regardless of how I present, since I can't go male 24/7. But yeah. Top dysphoria's bad but I figure, it's something that in a couple years, it's a problem I know I can solve. Bottom dysphoria, in that regard, sometimes feels worse because bottom surgery being significantly more difficult to obtain (at least right now, where I am in my life), it's like I know I'll one day have a flat chest and nice abs but I won't have a perfectly functioning penis.
I always feel better when I wear my bad dragon cock. It feels so good. It feels very realistic compared to a home made packer. If I really need a boost I send dick picks to the appreciative like my girlfriend or romantically involved friends. When they think my cock looks good it's a real confidence booster for me. It's worth a try... *shrugs* you have to be in love with your cock, I spent years searching for the packer that suited me until BD made dragon packers. Maybe a condom isn't right for you.
I don't know really......I cry when I see my penis, I'm still trying to figure out how to make the ugly gross sight less painful.
My bottom dysphoria doesn't flare up a lot for me, guess I'm lucky that way. Though I'm trying to figure out how to react to something my gf said last night. She knows about me and is fine with it. We were just discussing the fact that the city she's from is bigger than mine and I said "size doesn't matter", without really thinking. And really I was more concerned that earlier she seemed worried about her weight. Her response was probably just automatic - "Only people who aren't equipped well say that" Safe to say the dysphoria flared up at that :/ I didn't say anything about it, because I didn't want to come across as oversensitive. But even now it's bothering me.
When you will have a partner, this won't be such a big issue as you are afraid. They will know who you are and still will want to date you. They will accept you and the whole thing that comes with it. Not to mention that cisguys and girls use toys too, so the "nightstand" or going to fetch something can easily happen to them too. ---------- Post added 23rd Mar 2014 at 10:21 AM ---------- Talk to her. The worst troubles in a relationship can happen because of something that wasn't said at all, or wasn't meant the way the other partner thought it had been. It will be a bit awkward moment, but you both needed it otherwise you will never forget it and it will stay and sting.
I feel the same way dude. I can't even imagine having sex using my female parts, just the thought gives me anxiety. As for dealing with bottom dysphoria, well I try to distract myself as much as possible. Whether that be playing video games, drawing, watching a movie/tv, going for a walk, basically any hobby that I enjoy and won't think about it. Also for me packing...even if it's just a sock, helps alleviate some of it. Granted it's not the real thing and that when I'm not home alone I have to take it off; but just to have something there for the time being puts my mind at ease.
I'll glady trade, believe me. Sorry, man. Yeah, I kind of get what you mean. I used to frequent a lot of websites where gay (and closeted) guys hung out- I'd get asked about my dick size and I'd be all..."um. how big do you want me?" But yeah. Sure she didn't mean anything by it- maybe bring it up if it keeps weighing on you? True, lol. I dunno. It's kind of an inadequacy thing, moreso than what they'd think. I mean, if I dated another transguy and he had to make the nightstand run, then I know I wouldn't care. And hell, future partner wouldn't care- it's really just the idea that I can't just be like "oh look, I'm born with this handy apparatus and we're going to get started." Yeah, though I gotta admit sometimes I feel like I'd be okay with being, say, penetrated- but it's not something I'd like, maybe just tolerate if I ever get to the point where I'm comfortable enough with my parts (which I've heard some guys are after being on T or after top). But yeah. If those parts just didn't exist on my body, that'd be great... Distraction helps. Which was why school's been a boon for me. Gives me something to work on. My dysphoria's loads worse when I'm at home and bored. Yeah, hope it does. I pack (it's just a sock, though) and it helps having something there most of the time.
