Hay guys its Justin here. Im in a tight situation here. So Im tetting ready to graduate college and i got a full ride from my state for having disabilities that impact my learning and in order to get it i have to go to community college for a year but id be living at home with my family who doesnt support me being an FtM. They think Im a lesbian. So i would go to a local university after that year to fulfil my gender identity. But my issue is this coming year. Should i just lay low and play the role of a butch lesbian or should i just be me? Ill be legally 18 in may and 8 graduate hs in june and com. College begins in sept. do you have any suggestions? Thanks Justin
Well Justin, do you feel you could deal with displaying as a butch lesbian? I am sure if not, it would have a dire effect on your focus during school hours. Another question, do the people who go to your college know you're ftm? if so going as a butch lesbian may also confuse them and make them think twice about you. And hormones, have you started them? as it can be difficult to hide some of the changes =3
Sorry i didnt mean graduate collge i ment high school. I getting ready to go to college. People @ my hs know im trans, well friends. But no i have not started hrt. I wouldnt start it until my sophmore year in college. Im in my senior year of hs. Sorryfor the confusion and thanks for the help Plenilune.
when you say to fulfill your gender identity, do you mean the one year minimum requirement? or just to be out as a male? I would also recommend maybe seeing a Therapist, this way they can have a group session with your family to try and help them understand and come to terms with who you really are =)
Being out as male. My mom had me in therapy for gid and when inwas diagnosed with it she took me out of it because she doesnt want to believe it. Have done the group sessions with them. I asked my mom to take me to the PFLAG chapter near our area and she never did.
I'm postponing medical transition for 4 years to run in college. In my situation it's because of scholarship stuff too. I'm about 2 years in, and I think I've found a balance. Yeah, it's hard sometimes. Really hard. Finding a way to cope with the amount of time I'm losing was hard. I wouldn't sugarcoat it. But for me, it's worth it. The financial freedom will go so far in helping with the money part of transition down the road. My friends are supportive also, and I've found that at college I can be myself. I understand that it's a complicated situation, so if you want to talk more by posting on my wall or PMing when you're a full member, I'm game.
Hey, man. So, wanted to say I can relate. My parents were pretty unsupportive. In fact, the only reason I felt pressured to come out to them as early as I did was because college was coming up and I wanted to be openly male. Now, this is highly dependent on your situation. I wouldn't openly advocate it but I ended up going as a guy anyway. I still live at home. But basically, I emailed my professors ahead of time and let them know about my preferred name/pronouns. I'd go to campus dressed in female clothing, change into my clothes once I got to a gender neutral bathroom, and then I was presenting male up until classes were over. I had a jacket to conceal the switch when needed and for most of the term, I had a locker to keep my guy clothes in so I didn't have to worry about smuggling them back home every day. I've kept it up for 2 terms. My mom's nosy as hell and somehow, she's never caught on. Really had to be careful- leaving an assignment out or slipping up would've meant being exposed. If you decide to go this route, it's not a permanent solution. But if you know you can't go on campus presenting female and hearing the wrong name, then you might want to consider it.
