does anyone feel we are misunderstood my many people? i have noticed many people feel we are not really trans just because we are not femme and when I tell people that I am butch and trans they seem confused and do not see how its possible then I have to explain how us trans girls can be masculine just like cis women can and how trans men can be femmine just like cis men
It's really annoying. I think even it I was a cis-guy I'd still shave and like my hair on the longer side. It's like they don't believe you're trans* unless you fit every stereotype for the gender you want to be.
I've heard from one older trans woman that as soon as you're able to pass as your desired gender, no one really gives your butchness (in the case of trans women), or femmeness (trans men) a second thought.
I often hear of criticisms in the trans community regarding butch trans women, and feminine trans men, usually along the lines of, for the latter, 'if you're going to look/act like a girl, why didn't you just stay one?'. Seems a lot of people, even trans folks, confuse gender identity =/= gender expression. I, myself, as a feminine guy have had some issues regarding this, but I don't really care. It's only irksome knowing I have others in the community who critique and 'police' identities just because I like wearing the colour pink or dying my hair unnatural colours or even wearing a skirt. Same applies with trans women only reverse. Interestingly, have seen a lot of transfeminine people who are into stereotypically masculine interests, like cars, metal, computers and mechanics, ect. Don't see why that should be an issue or a reason for anyone to have their own gender invalidated.
oh, quite so... i have communicated similar feelings to my "gender therapist" only to be met with a stare most aghast! im not trying to say she isnt understanding... i feel quite the opposite, in her regard. I am, however, in full agreement that, despite what many cis-gendered "allies" may express, many (if not most) can not fully appreciate our plight. this isn't about neatly fitting into society... if it was, none of us would have even considered transition! It's, rather, about aligning our bodies with our minds in a way that is conducive to our unique individuality... that, of course, is not the entire reason for which we transition, however, it is, I believe, at the core of our motivation... I, myself, am not *quite* butch... in public... however, society's perception of my diction is that it is entirely masculine... online. W...T...F...? Women aren't allowed to be smart all of a sudden? Pardon me while I fish for the numerous examples of cis-gendered women who have displayed a firm command of the english language... I hope my words are not lost on you all, as they are lost on many in my state of inhabitance. I do not imagine they are... I am merely expressing my frustrations... Best of luck to you all, and may you hold true to your convictions... the convictions which are undeniable in essence! YOU KNOW *YOUR* TRUTH! SPREAD *YOUR* TRUTH AMONG THOSE IN YOUR PROXIMITY AS YOU WOULD WITH AN INFECTIOUS STRAIN OF THE "HAPPY-VIRUS"! Salutations, Sadie Lilith Kingston (&&&) P.S.- on a side note, I was finally recommended to a doctor who is capable of prescribing hormones... I am so excited, I had to share with you all! AAAAAHHHH If I said I was giddy with excitement, I feel that would be the understatement of the millenium!
I used to believe that. This one transboy I met taught me how wrong I was, because he wasn't stereotypically masculine but still seemed like a boy.
I think that's where my confusion comes from. I'd love to have a woman body, but I still want to act like I normally do. Which is not feminine at all, but at the same time is not very masculine, and I don't want to strictly go out with men, I'm very much attracted to women as well.... My ideal self would be a slightly androgynous looking girl, and to be able to color my hair any color I want without getting any weird looks would be a mayor plus as well. Kinda like this girl: To be able to pass as both girl and guy depending on makeup, clothes, etc. Would be great!
I am a fairly butch trans woman and I would just like to say that this is a problem. A lot of people tend to overlook that being a woman is mostly what goes on between the ears, and presentation is a lot about being yourself. I don't dress any differently than my mom does. I just happen to be very practical and I don't put a lot into the whole "you must look like the idealized model of what a woman should look like" expectation. That does tend to throw people off a bit, but honestly I carry myself with confidence, and most people don't know I am trans unless I tell them, despite being about as androgynous as possible. I think that expectations for trans women to be hyper-feminine actually can do a lot of harm.
haha, this seems far too misleading for my palate. what I should've said was "I don't believe myself to be butch". lol, a world of difference there, right?
This is a good thread for me to pay attention to, because I would be very likely to end up in this spot if I were to transition. Thanks for raising the question, and for all the thoughtful answers so far.
It seems like it doesn't matter how butch/femme a trans person is - I've seen everyone get criticism. Butch transgirls and femme transguys should just "stay the way they are", because "how are you really trans though"?? Femme transgirls and masculine transguys are "trying too hard and it's just sad". Trans people are just misunderstood in general.
