learning to act like the other gender

No, but then I'm lazy. I do what feels natural and hope for the best...

 

I think for the most part, it came pretty naturally to me. If I was worried about feminine mannerisms, I just glanced over other men and did what the Romans did. Once I'd adopted a more masculine public identity, it really did feel like dropping an act.

 

Yeah I don't have to think about it, I just act like I think and do that with confidence, and that works. I think at first if can be tough because there are a lot of expectations that people have to somehow be more authentic than a cisgender person. Like if you don't fit the mold they question you. But once you get beyond other people's expectations of how to behave it just comes naturally.

 

I used to be fairly concerned with my mannerisms before I started hormones, whereas I'd catch myself crossing my legs in public, or walking in a 'feminine' manner, thinking it would hinder my ability to pass. I don't really care now. All of my mannerisms come naturally, although they're probably not the most stereotypically male.

 

Rarely. A few things I simply don't understand very well though. Such as the teasing some guys do to each other. That doesn't come naturally to me. I do what I do and if society thinks it's not manly enough; too bad. I refuse to alter MY behaviour. It's not hurting me. I've even been told I type like a girl. I couldn't care less. Heck, I've been told I have the most feminine speech patterns in the world; focused on connection. Okay, doesn't bother me. Thank you fellow psychology students! If it makes them feel better I have a lot of masculine interests. ARGH society! Sometimes I silently happy cry after sex and one girl laughed at me for this. Apparently it's the least masculine action possible.

I panicked (especially when I was 17 and newly out) over whether I behaved 'manly' enough before and it's too stressful. The more I worried the less I passed. When I'm seriously down from dysphoria I will doubt a lot of things. I mercilessly pick out the slightest female seeming things about me and it borders on ridiculous at times. If I hear the words "female socialisation" directed at me again... I will flip. I had mixed socialisation if we must think of it that way.

I tried REALLY hard for 2 years to be a girl (or what I thought a girl behaves like) and I failed miserably. It was akin to the real life test in reverse. People can often tell when you're applying conscious effort. That's one lesson I learned during it.

 

I used to try act manly but it made me feel just as fake as when i had tried for years before to act girly. i decided i wasn't going to act I was just going to be me and do what came naturally which is kind of in-between masculine and feminine mannerisms with a little bit of awkwardness too

 

There's no actin' like the "other gender" since one I'm already a guy, and there's no such thing as actin like a male/female cuz everybody's a bloody individual! There's no one way for guys and gals to be.

 

I was at the store today and I saw this thread earlier but never responded to it. I got to thinking while waiting in line what, if any different mannerisms I saw in terms of gender.

This is what I noticed.

1.) everyone there was wearing pants/jeans/whatever, no dresses or skirts or anything. Male or female the attire was quite uniform, perhaps due to the unseasonable weather again here in New England.

2.) everyone had the same walk or gist for the most part. The only slight difference I noticed was that females tended to have their hips under their torso more than males. I did not see any particularly "girly" walking styles.

3.) I will say that the males I saw generally had less facial expressions or emotions being shown.


Now this was a small sample size of maybe 50 or so people and I was only looking at external observables but there was no significant differences I could perceive. Maybe if I had a chance to watch social interactions with the intent of looking for differences that might have helped. But as far as a quick empirical observation went I didn't see anything that dictated gender differences for the most part considering I was trying to find some intentionally.

 

and any seemingly gender differences aren't even valid cuz shit's brainwashed into people pretty much all their lives that guys can't be too emotional, girls are this, guys are that, blue is for boys, pink is for girls, these clothes are for that gender, etc. And too many people buy into this shit and either never question it, or are too afraid to be themselves and it's all just so sad...

 

For me, that last thing you said sounds true to the note. "Dropping an act"
When I was a guy I would have slips where I would idle stance like a female, while waiting, or have limp wrists, when I came out as trans, it came natural to me... It took a few days to "drop the act" completely however lol

 

For me, I started walking a little stereotypically feminine (i.e. hands pointed, legs crossing with each step), and I've gotten good at looking the part. A few of my friends say I could pass, and one who rides my bus says I look androgynous, which I consider a plus. If you pull off the gender walk, you can pull off the gender appearance.

 

I pass a lot of the time now. For me, I observed how men walked and talked and stuff, and then after that things just started to come naturally to me. As I became more comfortable with my gender, I realized that I dropped the feminine attitudes.

 

I tried really hard at first, but then I realized that most of it came really naturally to me. I try not to think too much about it now because there are infinite ways to be man. As I started behaving more like a real man and not like a child, I realized that I didn't miss being a "woman". Then everything became even easier. However, for the most part, I still don't pass.

 

I don't really worry about passing that much. Mostly because one, I like looking pretty and femine every once in a while, and two because I can't afford for my parents to notice.
I don't really mind how I walk, and because I've got a lot of male friends I tend to speak kind of half and half? I swear a lot, (something I want to quit) and am a bit more commanding than I used to be. But I try very hard to sound elequent and polite at other times.
The one thing that I've been really freaking out about is crossing my legs. I do it without thinking and I hate it. I try and notice how guys sit, so I can remember to keep my legs uncrossed. But other than that, I don't mind how I act. I don't think I need to change who I am or how I act to be male. Some people do feel better if they do that, and thats totally okay, but I worked really hard to be confident as I am now. I love myself, even if my body isn't really what I feel it should be.
I do think it is very reasonable to want to act more like the other gender to pass. However, I've been told by quite a few friends, that I am very much on the more flamboyant side of the male spectrum*. I like that about me, so I don't want to change.

*Thats just the word I thought of, the spectrums are endless and don't have a whole lot of lines. I'm just not awake enough to word it better.

 

I just do whatever comes naturally to me. I feel like if you force something, that's when it starts appearing fake. But if you just do what you do, then people believe you more.

 

I did research it, but found I already did it.

Voice was a different matter.

 

To be fair I've barely begun transitioning. I'm not even on T yet. But I would say some things are coming along easier than others. For example the way I sit and walk and dress are already pretty masculine for the most part, although I have been trying to accentuate/exaggerate these qualities in the hopes of coming closer to passing.

There are some things however that I feel I have to relearn. Speech patterns for instance I am finding I need to keep careful watch of and consciously change what I do.

It depends on the characteristic really. In some ways I've been masculine all along and in others I'm finding I need to put in a little extra effort.

 

I don't pass well evidently. However, I feel like even living as a woman, before coming to terms with everything, my mannerisms weren't particularly feminine - not that they were masculine either, just that they weren't feminine. So there's nothing to drop and nothing to adapt to really.