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Guilt over non-binary ID or something else?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Gates, Mar 25, 2014.

  1. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    I just joined the site and as anyone who read my introduction knows, I identify as an androgyne. Growing up, I felt like a boy trapped inside of a female body and I just thought that maybe some women had male brains. In college, I identified as a transman (though only to the 3 people I was out to). But since my senior year of university, I've been feeling much more that I'm mixed - a combination of man and woman yet neither one completely. I'm out in this way to a few people but not even to my closest friends. However, keeping quiet about it is becoming, I feel, emotionally damaging and is distracting me from my work. I'm thinking that I want to finally just knock down the closet door and let the chips fall where they may but I feel like I'm still grappling with a lot of guilt that may make me vulnerable to having more pain inflicted upon me. I'm not sure if it's guilt over being a mix and therefore not being "manly" enough or if it's just general guilt for confusing people. It's not guilt for *doing* anything because I find gender variance to be quite normal and expected but it's more to do with societal response.

    Thoughts?
     
  2. Tetra

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    I haven't told anyone about being trans*, so I do know what you're saying. I personally don't feel guilty about what I'm feeling or doing, but I do feel guilty for having people think I'm a male (because I dress and act male), and then having to be corrected if I'm with someone who pipes up about it. I feel like gender constraints are a pain in the ass, and they do stop me sometimes from being social.
    I can also sympathize when you say that keeping it to yourself is emotionally damaging, and wares on your mind. It's the same for me, and I feel like it will only get worse if we keep burying it inside ourselves. Hopefully as time goes on, the general public will become more open to discuss gender identity (as right now, in some groups, it seems "taboo").
     
  3. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    The Aristotle quote makes perfect sense. It's spot on. Marcus Aurelius also cautioned that a wise person should prefer the more difficult of two paths presented. Sometimes I can't listen very well to the living but great minds echo in eternity and their words cannot go unheard. :slight_smile: