My parents, Whom I love and respect, have forbidden me from being feminine while I live in their house. I obviously need to respect their wishes, but I can't deny myself. How can I be secretly trans?
Hey. I'm coming from the other side of the fence but can relate- can't be openly masculine at home (if I am, has to be really subtle). You're 19 so if I were you, I'd do whatever you can to move out. Job hunt, see if a friend/relative's got a spare room or is willing to let you stay with them. Apartment hunt, take out school loans. You've seriously got to do whatever you can to be out of your parents' and start living life. Is their respect worth your happiness and wellbeing? In the meantime, there's subtle ways to ease things over. What I do, no matter how I present, is wear boxers and men's jeans- maybe wear something under your clothes that's feminine? Like underwear/feminine tank?
Unless your parents are particularly keen on strip searches, being 'discrete' doesn't necessarily have to be that hard. I mean before I told my mum...let me think, what did I do... -Grew and shaped my nails -Shaved all over -Wore girls underwear (washed it in the bathroom sink at night, dried it in my bedroom) -Started to grow my hair out -Acted 'girly' while I was alone...realistically not much different to normal, I just 'felt' girlier wrapped in a blanket with a hot chocolate! -Had my friends and people online call me be my preferred name and treat me like a woman! There are little things you can do like that. Hope some of that helps.
I'm also doing things like this at least until I come out to my parents Nyu~ But yeah being discrete is relatively easy Nyu~
Like drwinchester, I'm coming from the other side of the fence. I just wear boxers under whatever I'm wearing. Dress masculine, and cut my hair short. Other than that, just be yourself. Do the things you enjoy doing. Maybe when you're alone, you can do things that make you feel feminine that you'd be more afraid to do out in public. Also, ease your stress by looking at transition plans and whatnot.
