1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Am I Fooling myself?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by twospiritlycan, Mar 28, 2014.

  1. I want to be a girl... but I'm just acting like a femboy, and yet it doesn't feel real. There have been some occasions where I wanted real breasts and hips like a girls, but then I would feel scared about it. I thought wanting a female part and have a guy do you know what to me. I have on occassion looked at myself, I see myself being really feminine but really gross out about some male features and facial hair on my body. I can't figure myself out anymore. I get too scared because I feel that no one stands up for transpeople or any Feminine men. I'm not sure how I would feel about transition.
     
  2. InfectedGenes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK, East Midlands
    Out Status:
    Family only
    I've felt the same myself to the extent of today I started today womdering why I qurstion my gender so much and trying to will myself to stop, got to work (im the only one in the office and im just walking around in jeans, t-shirt and socks because noone is here and there is no work to do but im still getting paid :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: sorry that was irrelevant) and felt empowered and female and was certain about expressing my gender etc. but now im all off and can't help but feel that i'm weird and should just give up.

    So yeah I know how you feel but "at the end of the day" (awesome les mis song that) I've been told to not focus on transition as this big major thing but just focus on acting and doing what I want and when I want and stop caring about others opinions, because transition isn't this one big set thing its different for everyone e.g. one person may be trying to lose weight before going on hormones whilst another is happy wearing feminine clothing and people refferring to them differently, both are transitions the only thing that makes them the same though is just that they are focusing on the things that make them feel more like themselves.

    You can thank EliaOtaku for that piece of advice.
     
  3. Cynder

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2012
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    For me, I used to feel the same way, except opposite. I was never sure that I really wanted to transition. It seemed so difficult and expensive and confusing. I think this comes from the fact that most humans are somewhat innately opposed to great change. But what I did was I just let the idea sit in me. I would think about it when I wanted to, and i wouldn't when I didn't. But I noticed that even when I normally wouldn't really think of it, it would come up and I would want to be a guy.

    I also reallized that just because I can sometimes be happy in a girls body (such as when I'm just hanging out with friends and being myself, or when I'm doing something really fun, etc.) that doesn't mean that I'm not a guy, it just means that I'm not letting my identity as trans ruin my life.



    If you give yourself some time, and try not to stress yourself about it, I'm pretty sure your answer will come to you. No one but you can say whether you identify as a feminine boy or a trans girl, and I know that can seem like we can't give you the answers you need, but the answers are there in you, you just need to let them come.
     
  4. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Holy heck I'm being referenced! Sweet!

    Anyway, I THINK I know how you're feeling...I mean I spent a long time scared of the idea of having an actual female body, I guess mainly because I am so used to the one I have that even though I HATE this body so damn much, the idea of change scared me!

    As Infected said, try not to think of 'transition' as one big thing that you 'do'. I recommend you read this conversation between the two of us because we basically address exactly that issue and I think it might help you!

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/gende...hats-going-my-head-just-general-guidance.html
     
  5. Wow, that's a lot of pretty clear information InfectedGenes, Cynder, and EllieOtaku. I've been feeling a lot more comfortable wearing women's clothes, even to the point of sleeping with leggings. I felt a lot more feminine with my hair growing really long, and have been taking care of my body hair. It's like I feel more like myself, but I get disappointed sometimes still whenever I still see myself. I'm considering transition, but I'll have to wait until I'm sure. I read your link EllieOtaku, it's a lot, so I'll have to continue reading it later. Everything there sounds so similar though and I'm quite surprised.
     
  6. Miiaaaaa

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2013
    Messages:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wales
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Unfortunately, change is scary!

    But also, given time, if you're still feeling that you're a girl, then you're probably a girl!