There are a few things about transgenders that I've never really gotten, and I was wondering if any transgenders or people who know about transgenders could help me out. I'm trying to sound as not-offensive as possible, but a lot of it has to do with labels and such. 1) If a person male-to-female, does that mean that they are physically male and mentally female? And female-to-male is the opposite? 2) If someone is physically male and mentally female and they like guys, would that make them gay or straight? 3) Does gender-fluid or gender-neutral count as transgender? I just want to be clear on these things so that I don't unintentionally offend someone later. Thanks for the help.
1) If a person male-to-female, does that mean that they are physically male and mentally female? And female-to-male is the opposite? Yes. It comes from the idea of transition. I am 'male to female' because I was born male and I am becoming 'female'. Having said that, I don't particularly LIKE the term, because obviously I don't like people saying that I was "a man once". You know, it's a description of something not a label! 2) If someone is physically male and mentally female and they like guys, would that make them gay or straight? Allow me to rephrase that for you. If someone is female and they like guys, would that make them gay or straight? You may notice I've removed 'physically male' and the 'mentally' from female. That is because your body is irrelevant. If I took your mind and stuck it in a computer, are you male or female? You don't have your body any more but I bet you still feel pretty strongly that you belong to the gender you align with! The point is, 'mentally female' is just 'female'. 3) Does gender-fluid or gender-neutral count as transgender? Yes. There are 2 terms that often get mixed up. 1. Transgender 2. Transsexual So 'transsexual' means basically the opposite gender. So I am 'transsexual' because I was assigned male at birth but I am definitely female. Transgender just is essentially 'different gender', not necessarily opposite. It's an umbrella term for anyone whose gender is in any way different to that they where assigned at birth. So a all transsexual people are transgender, but not all transgender people are transsexual! Does that help?
You've already gotten fabulous answers for your questions, so I'm not going to try and outright answer them all. I just wanted to mention that while gender-fluid/non-binary/gender neutral/genderqueer (... the list could go on and on...) individuals can technically be considered transgender, since they do not conform to the gender they were assigned at birth (although gender-fluid people may at times, depending), not all people under the wide 'transgender' umbrella associate themselves with the label transgender and may not call themselves or think of themselves as 'trans'. Whether or not someone wants to label themselves as trans while fitting into one of these identities that many don't immediately think of as trans (usually because they don't understand the difference between transgender and transsexual and believe transgender only applies to MtF or FtM individuals) is more of an individual decision based on the labels they are personally comfortable with and resonate with. Therefore, there may be some people outside the binary who fit under the 'trans' umbrella but may not like to be referred to as trans. Hope that makes sense!
There are a few things about transgenders that I've never really gotten, and I was wondering if any transgenders or people who know about transgenders could help me out. I'm trying to sound as not-offensive as possible, but a lot of it has to do with labels and such. Happy to help. Perhaps the best place to start is with the word "transgender." There is no such thing as "a transgender." The word is an adjective, not a noun. Many people will be offended if you call them "a transgender" because you are deleting the most important thing--their humanity. Likewise, "transgendered" while not offensive to most, is grammatically incorrect. It's like saying someone is "talled." 1) If a person male-to-female, does that mean that they are physically male and mentally female? And female-to-male is the opposite? No, not exactly. Think of it as describing a starting place and a direction. If a person is born biologically male, but transitions to female or identifies female (not all trans* people transition), then the person is male-to-female. The person may take hormones, have genital reconstruction, and go through every available type of transition procedure. That person is still male-to-female because they started biologically male. But they are physically female at that point. The same for female-to-male persons in reverse. 2) If someone is physically male and mentally female and they like guys, would that make them gay or straight? Depends on whether you consider them male or female. Or, more importantly, whether they consider themselves male or female. Many non-transitioning or pretransition mtf persons would still call themselves male and therefore consider such a relationship a gay relationship. Many who have fully transitioned (whatever that means to them) would call it a straight relationship. Basically these things are really easy. If you just respect that a person is who they say they are, then that makes it pretty easy. 3) Does gender-fluid or gender-neutral count as transgender? It depends on who you ask. The term "transgender" is treated by some as an inclusive umbrella. But many genderqueer and otherwise non-binary people criticize it for best referring only to transmen and transwomen. This has resulted in the term "trans*" being created. The asterix serves the same purpose as in a computer. It indicates all identities other than cisgender, including people who identify as agender, bi gender, genderqueer, gender fluid, etc. "Trans*" is the broadest, most inclusive term used today for identities all across the spectrum. I just want to be clear on these things so that I don't unintentionally offend someone later. Thanks for the help. No worries. But please don't call me "a transgender." I am one of those who takes offense. I am a person, not "a transgender."
I think that these questions have pretty much been covered already, but: 2) If someone is physically male and mentally female and they like guys, would that make them gay or straight? This depends on the individual I think. Most trans people I've talked to label their sexuality based on their identity rather than their sex, regardless of whether they're pre-op, post-op, or non-op, but some trans people consider themselves to be one sexuality before they transition (ex: gay) and another one after (ex: straight). So, that hypothetical mtf lady you described would likely consider herself straight - she is, after all, a woman, regardless of her body. I am technically an androgyne, but I do desire to transition to male. I like guys. So, I consider myself gay. My boyfriend, however, considers himself straight.
