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Is it a phase?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by mab2112, Mar 28, 2014.

  1. mab2112

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    Hi, I just want a quick or general answer on the subject.

    I've been thinking about my gender identity and the possibility of being trans for a few weeks only, so I'm quite at the beginning but something has really been bothering me. How can I know if these are genuine feelings or if it is just a phase I might be going through? Did some of you dealt with this dilemma and how did you resolved it?
     
  2. CharlsOn

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    I'm not trans but for a while I hoped that this thing (I called it so) will go away. I just accepted it cause it don't it's a phase.:slight_smile: But you can't know. As you said you're still at the beginning. Harder you try to sort it out the harder it gets. I took me years to recognize what I am. But every person is different so you can't really say it:slight_smile:
    I think it just takes time:slight_smile:
     
  3. Tetra

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    Well, what kinds of things are you questioning? What have you felt like for your whole life? What are you feeling right now? The best solution would be to seek a gender therapist if you're feeling strongly about your gender identity.
     
  4. DeLuna

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    I have been having these feelings for my whole life but really started noticing that something huge was up when I was only the age of just 4!!! Only you can truly know if it's a "phase" or not...... I can tell you my personal experiences and crap....... But, I really can't even tell you my thoughts on what little you said in this thread.......



    I personally have always felt this way
     
  5. Kat 5

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    I thought my thing was a phase since 4 months ago, now I'm not sure its just a phase.
     
  6. Straw_berry

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    I used to think it was a phase when I was younger Nyu~ But when I started thinking about it again several years later I realized that it wasn't a phase, then I confirmed my feelings about being transgender about a month after I started thinking about it again Nyu~
     
  7. Ruthven

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    I've never thought it was a phase for me, and it cropped up like when i was late 17/early 18 with feelin androgynous/genderless then eventually feelin male and figurin it out. I suppressed it for the shortest time, and then I accepted myself and for a while I did feel somewhat insecure that I didn't know/feel this way since childhood. But even through those feelins' I still didn't think it was a phase. All I knew was that in my heart and soul I'm male, and with more time I realised through myself and seein that there were others who didn't know since childhood, that was all that really mattered.

    You'll figure it out for yourself if it's really a phase or not. And just cuz you may have only felt this way for a few weeks doesn't invalidate it possibly bein a real thing, and I'm one of the peeps who's proof of that.
     
  8. mab2112

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    Thanks for these quick replies. The things that might point me towards the phase idea is that I didn't feel that way in the past. In retrospect, I can point to things that might have hinted trans, but at the same time, I can find other things to point to being cis. I know the past isn't as important as the present, but right now I have those mixed feeling of is it real or not.

    I will have some soul searching to do that's for sure, it's just that I'm kinda scared to explore this possibility and it turns out to be nothing, but at the same time, it scares me if I repress it only to come back in a few years.

    Seeing a gender therapist is a good idea, but I just feel like I need a better grasp on myself before going to one. Maybe I'm wrong?
     
  9. Groosenator

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    It sounds like you're in a very similar position to me. We're even the same age.

    I first seriously considered the possibility that I might be transgender about a year ago. I'm not going to lie, it was hard. I was in such a state of shock and confusion I just ended up crying initially. I've spent the last year going back and forth between thinking "Yes, this is what I want. I can feel it!" and then telling myself "Oh come on, what are you thinking? Do you really want to uproot your life for this?" But the more time passes, the more certain I feel.

    I've started taking steps toward transitioning to see how I feel. I cut my hair, starting using men's hygiene products and wearing men's clothes. I just got a binder that I'm going to start wearing as soon as my chest congestion clears up enough that I can breathe again. I find that the more steps I take, the more happy and at ease I feel in my body.

    I haven't started seeing a therapist yet either because of my busy schedule, but when I'm out of college in 2 months there is a clinic nearby I'm planning on going to to see a therapist. Even now I wouldn't say I'm 100% sure that I am going to transition completely, but I'm hoping a therapist will be able to help me figure myself out a little more and make a good educated decision. I think that's what the therapist is there for, to help you in this process and figure out what the best choice is.

    I can definitely relate to that fear that it will all go away in a couple years and it will end up being for nothing. Take it slowly, you've got your life ahead of you. It's better to take months to figure yourself out than it is to make a hasty decision that will affect the rest of your life. And a therapist can help you figure things out and give you good advice too.

    I would keep it in mind, pay attention to yourself and your feelings, try to figure out if you've always felt something a little off and if so, in what ways? Maybe look online too and find a support group in your area if there are any.
     
  10. Miiaaaaa

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    I thought this for ages too, but the fact that I'd been thinking it for ages and wasn't transitioning kind of pulled me out of that funk. Also remembering things from my childhood and growing up made me realise that I was unknowingly questioning things anyway.
     
  11. mab2112

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    Yeah, it is hard, especially since I haven't been thinking about this before. It was probably in the back of my head all this time and I can remember things from my childhood to back it up. Present feelings are harder to understand because there's just so much going on in my head, mainly because of confusion and possible denial. I also feel like I've become more aware of myself.

    I read once about the 5 steps of grief, or something life that, and the first step is denial. So I can say that the theory probably applies to this as well...
     
  12. Groosenator

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  13. mab2112

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    Thanks for the video. It was really interesting. I will definetely watch other videos on Youtube like this one.
     
  14. Daydreamer1

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    I'm in the circle that has had these feels since I was a little kid, even if I tried to repress them--they somehow dug out of the grave I put them in. Questioning is normal, and I can't really comment on if it's a phase or not since I'm not in your shoes. The only thing I can really suggest is to do soul searching, deep thinking and give yourself time to get your thoughts and feelings sorted out. Things could be clearer then.
     
  15. Calix

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    I went back and forth for years, with no idea if I was/wasn't. Eventually I realised that if the thoughts kept coming back, there was probably a good reason for them. Since I've started talking steps to alter my appearance I've felt great! :slight_smile:

    For me, reading this article helped - How Do I Know If I’m Trans? » Sincerely, Natalie Reed
     
  16. Groosenator

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    Wow, Calix that article is fantastic.

    Thank you very much for posting it~
     
  17. mab2112

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    Thanks Calix! I learned a lot from this article.
     
  18. Calix

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    No problem :slight_smile: Glad to help in some way.
     
  19. Miiaaaaa

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    That was an awesome article. :3