Thoughts - VERY important milestone

It's good to see you back Monika!

So if I'm understanding you correctly...(it probably doesn't speak entirely well of me that I'm too nervous to type about sex!)...you...put it in her?

If that IS the case, I completely feel for you. I don't think I'd like that either!

Out of interest, because the idea seems completely INSANE to me, why do you want to tell your parents and brother?

 

I think now that I know I'm a guy, doing it the 'heterosexual way' as you put it, would be very difficult for me. But I haven't been in that situation yet to really know. I haven't researched this, but it seems generally that it's easier for MtF's (As easy as Major Surgery can be that is) to physically transition completely. But obviously everyone differs in what they will/won't do which is completely understandable.

At the end of the day you have to do what makes you comfortable - in my case I'll be more interested in my partner's enjoyment than my own, however that's achieved.

As far as telling your parents and brother - why? What you do/don't do in that area of your life isn't really their business. And if they think they can ask you questions about it, then they need a reality check. If you want to talk just to talk and believe they'll be able to listen with an unbiased opinion, then go ahead of course

 

To be honest, I'm not suprised it's taking a long while to sort out. I mean psychologically it's a pretty big deal.

I mean think about it this way, and stop me if I'm getting ahead of your brain, I'm just saying where my thought process usually goes when I'm thinking about this.

You decided to use it for it's intended purpose. Now that's not like masturbating, it's different. I don't know what it is, you're still stimulating the same organ but fundamentally it is a different thing in your mind.

I mean for me, I often feel that I couldn't even use a strap on to penetrate someone because the act itself would change the way I thought about the sex act. For me personally it would make me feel masculine.

I mean the last time I thought about this seriously I ended up realising I really want bottom surgery. No. NEED. Not want. I WANT some damned ice cream, I NEED bottom surgery. Because the thought freaks me out.

I can masturbate fine, I have no problems with that, but the when I think about someone else being involved I feel ill. I know I don't want to penetrate, but it makes me wonder if I want it to be used at at all!

There's a lot to go through mentally.

My dad insisted that i meet a woman and "fall in love" with her and try it again...

I'm a little worried about this though. Actually, no, I'm a VERY worried about this.

Try WHAT again, exactly? I mean I'm not going to lie to you, I would feel REALLY INTENSELY uncomfortable if my dad told me he wanted me to make sure I was having penetrative sex with a woman...I mean fair enough if that's the kind of thing your family is comfortable discussing, that's fine, but that would freak me right out.

But that isn't why I have a problem with it. The problem I have is with the fact that it seems to be suggested that you should try it again because otherwise you'll be doing sex wrong.

I mean I don't imagine for a moment that the feelings you experienced after this time are going to suddenly become happy wonderful feelings just because you like the person more...I mean the MIGHT, but it's not something I would rely upon...

I guess what I'm worried about is that discussing your sex life with family might somehow impact on the things you actually feel you need to do...

 

I think you shouldn't talk about this stuff with your dad. All his requests are selfish and for his own pointless beliefs. You know who you are and what you feel. No matter how many times you 'try it out', chances are you'll feel the same. The right person might make it easier to be that way, but the discomfort will most likely always be there.

 

That just sounds unpleasant...

I have to ask, why exactly do you care what your brother has to say about all this?

 

I know the feeling! I liked the idea of being with a woman, as for the actual penetrating... Not for me. (Also, my housemate sounds a bit like your brother. I'm just waiting, 'cause I know he won't be living with me in September.)

Also, good news that you're going to start your transition! Best of luck. <3

 

They don't need to. As long as you're okay with things and they at least respect them, then it's all gravy.

 

Happy to hear you're going to start transitioning. Family takes time, but eventually they get it. (In my case they got it when I told them I was socially transitioning at work)

 

If you knew you wouldn't have enjoyed it, it probably wasn't the best idea to try it for the sake of "fitting in" because that can cause emotional consequences. However, what's done is done.

What concerns me though is describing this sex act as what "God had intended"; because it sounded like you're wording this in the way you felt forced to do it to be normal/natural. And if your family has instilled this in you, I feel deeply sorry for you.

Honestly, there are a million ways you can have sex or "lose your virginity"; including not penetrating someone at all. So if you really wanted to lose it with a girl, you could have tried something you were more comfortable with....doesn't have to be what your parents want. It's what you want.

God didn't intend people to use protection either, and if we followed the "biological" definition of sex, everyone would still be virgins after wearing a condom too. So I find all of this pressure on one person to be rather ridiculous...

But what's done is done, and as long as you don't regret it in the long-run....I hope you'd be alright.

 

Glad to hear it! It's nice to hear you feeling positive about things

 

You go girl!