This has been bugging me off-and-on for the last few months, and it seems to be happening a lot more frequently as of late. I'm biologically female but I've been confused. I would really like for someone to help me out because I don't want to come out to my parents yet- I still have no idea what I am and I'm not sure if they'd be entirely supportive. So, lately I've felt like I want to be thought of as a guy. What makes me really unsure about this is that a lot of trans guys say that they felt like they were boys as a kid. I didn't. I think in my head my whole childhood I actually didn't think about what gender I was but acted like a girl because that was what was expected of me. I also don't mind my body parts or anything, but I definitely wouldn't mind them being that of a male. Now that I've been considering what it would be like to transition, though, I've been getting a heck of a lot of height dysphoria because I'd be quite short as a guy. I'm attracted to guys, but I'm solely interested in gay (male, haha) relationships. I watch a lot of gay movies, a lot of gay porn... :eusa_shif I actually can't remember ever getting turned on by straight porn. I kind of wish I could be "one of the guys" as well... in my opinion the boys at school have a way better sense of humour than the girls and are more fun to be around. I also asked my parents if I could get my hair cut short yesterday which I'm pretty excited about. And I've always wanted to be the male in a relationship, but I can't tell for sure as I haven't actually been in a real relationship yet- just pestered a guy who had no interest in me whatsoever on facebook. You know, the usual. Anyways, anyone have any tips on knowing if I'm actually trans, or just your opinion or something? I know it takes time to figure these things out but I can't stand this in-between phase.
Nobody can tell you if you're trans, it's something you have to figure out. Though I think it's worth mentioning that I always thought of myself as more of a "gay guy" than a "straight girl". I think with things like porn and fantasy though, there's a lot of ways to interpret it. Having same sex fantasies is a pretty normal developmental thing and is just your minds way of exploring possibilities you might not otherwise do awake. As I said, this is your choice. No one here can tell you what are/ aren't. We can ask you questions that might help direct your thoughts and feelings, but that's it. Nobody's experience is alike, so while a lot know from a young age/adolescence, not everyone does. I didn't start thinking I was was trans until I was 19. The whole 'have to know at 16' thing isn't true.
Calix raises a lot of good points, I agree with him wholeheartedly, especially the part about no one's experience being the same, especially with this subject. I would take the time to think on this subject, dwell on what would make you happier! Would you rather be a more rough cut female (I don't want to use the term 'Butch' here) with a most likely dominant role in a relationship Would you rather transition into a Male and live completely as a male?
Wow, your post looks pretty similar to my first post. It's not unusual or impossible to suddenly realize your trans; for me, I realized it a few months ago and I'm already 19. I never questioned my gender until then, but since that day, I've been pretty sure I wanted to be a woman. As others may have pointed out, the best way to figure out if you might be trans is to imagine yourself as a male, living your life being addressed and thought of as such. From your post, you might be trans, but it would help to maybe seek a counselor or give it more time and think it out a little more so that you can be absolutely sure. Best of luck in figuring this out, and hopefully you'll get through the questioning phase soon.
I thank everyone so much for the replies! (*hug*) I seriously got so excited when I saw that people had actually bothered to give some thoughtful advice to my post this morning. Comes from never having many friends. It's just that I've been having them since I was 11, so almost the whole time I've been having any fantasies. I used to think that I just liked yaoi (if you know what I mean, it's basically gay-themed anime/manga catered to straight girls.) But in almost all yaoi there's a clearly dominant partner, and I never liked that. I've always preferred the more realistic relationships where the men are on equal levels. I've also lately started picturing myself as a guy with a guy and it feels really right. I really don't identify with being a "rough cut female", hehe. I'm not sure about a lot of things, but that just isn't me. Yep, I'm definitely going to take more time before I label myself or anything. But I was feeling a lot more sure about being trans this morning and all throughout the day I had this weird sort of confidence that I never even knew I had. It was cool. I wonder if maybe I am trans and was just doubting myself. But I also feel kind of guilty, because there's no need for me to transition, and if I am actually ftm it's going to hurt my parents a lot. It's almost like I can't stop thinking that I just convinced myself that I'm trans and this is simply another one of my numerous easy solutions that I come up with to fix all my problems, like I only feel this way because I dwelled on it.
