When will she understand?!

She won't. At all. Ever.

Please understand that 'they must be trans' is almost never going to cross most peoples minds because it just isn't common enough.

She might think you're GAY. She might think you're effeminate. She might not think anything at all. But I can say with almost certainty, the only way she is going to understand that you are TRANS is if just transition in front of her and start dropping trans leaflets around.

 

Does she know you like boys? That could help ease her in maybe.

 

Some people just need more time to come around, perhaps she's in denial about the situation.

 

How can she be in denial about a situation she isn't aware of?

 

Is she not open about LGBT+ stuff? Is that why you are nervous to talk to her about the things you have been feeling? (*hug*)

 

Aww I'm sorry she says stuff like that. Maybe you could open up a bit to your brother since he seems cool with being gay at least (without getting into trans* stuff yet maybe)? ^_^

 

She may or may not ever accept you, sweetie, but that can't stop you from being you! She will have no choice to always accept you as her child, even if she does become upset with you for a while.

Try wearing a feminine shirt around her to begin with and have her opinion on the clothing. Your brother sounds accepting so maybe you should come out to him if you haven't already so that you can start to build a support system. Then down the road when you've established enough confidence, have him be there with you while you tell your mum.

Just be as understanding with her as you feel she should be with you. It's going to be an adjustment for her, and you as well, getting to know your mother in a different way.

 

Ellia is right on. I'm not out to anyone I know, but there are hints if people are paying attention - and a couple of times people have paid attention, and asked if I'm gay, which is the wrong question. (though I admit I'd lie to them if they asked the right one. :eusa_liar)

It sounds like you really care about your relationship with your mom, so I hope things go well for you whatever you choose to do.

 

Have I missed something important or am I really the only one who thinks it's important to actually TELL your mother, rather than hope she will just guess?

 

Yeah you're going to need to tell her. I've "Hinted" to my parents that I was comfortable in guys clothing, acting like a guy...etc. And they responded with I needed to act like a girl, wear girl things, wear make-up...etc.

After coming out, my dad said "he knew it" ...but I feel like that was a coping mechanism; because he still doesn't quite understand it ( along with the rest of my family). So no one is going to assume you're transgender, my parents assumed I was lesbian even when I fought them saying I wasn't (prior to coming out of course). So it really is best that you tell her how you feel.

 

I agree with you Holly, most parents won't see their kids being like this and if they do a lot of them would probably deny it within themselves as people if they can will stick to what is normal as it seems easier and is what they know. Without telling them how are they to know for sure? These are your thoughts and they cannot know them without being told.

 

This was my first thought as well Holly.