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Am I rushing things?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by WillowRose, Apr 2, 2014.

  1. WillowRose

    Full Member

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    So it's been a little over a month since everything "clicked into place" in my mind and I realized that I am some flavor of trans*.

    I've done a ton of googling, have read a lot on this forum and elsewhere on the 'Net, and have introduced the idea that I am exploring my gender identity beyond the bounds of what I was designated with a few supportive people -- my pastor, my GP, and my therapist. All three were surprised but affirming and are willing to support my journey (whatever that ends up being).

    Here's what I think at this point.

    1. I identify strongly as a lesbian. I know that gender and sexuality are separate issues, and that being a lesbian is inconsistent with the gender I was assigned at birth (and with the plumbing I was supplied with). But I have a deeply-held conviction that "should have been" a lesbian. I've known that for at least 20 years, and the conviction hasn't gotten any less strong over that time.

    2. I don't have very intense dysphoria, at least not with regard to my nether bits. I don't feels a strong need to trade in my "outie" for an "innie". Given the cost and the various risks of any major surgery, I don't envision myself ever going there.

    3. On the other hand, once I started thinking seriously about all this, I found that I really, really like the idea of having breasts, broader hips, getting rid of the facial hair, and so the prospect of undergoing feminizing hormonal treatment has been increasingly attractive to me.

    4. The way I'd really like to present, at least in terms of clothing, hair and other visible markers, would be 100% androgynous, with the possibility of leaning either butch or femme depending on the context and my mood.

    As-yet-open issues are (a) handling the visible physical and presentational changes at work (which as far as I can tell is NOT queer-friendly for ANY definition of queer); (b) the what, when and how of disclosing to my parents; (c) the what, when and how of talking about all this with my daughter.

    If those open issues weren't present, my inclination would be to ask my GP to get me started on hormones when I next see her a month from now. My questions are: am I rushing things? What are other questions I should be asking myself or working on with my therapist? What is the next, right step for me to take at this point?

    Also, thank you all for being here. I feel like I get hugs every time I open up the forum!
     
  2. Miiaaaaa

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    A few people
    Are you planning on any HRT? If so, then there's a long wait until you'll start that, so that can't be rushed.

    But I wouldn't say you're rushing things, you seem pretty sure about it all, why not go for it and be happy? :slight_smile: <3