I feel like I'm not allowed to be my sexual orientation and also trans

I have seen this sort of discrimination in both directions. On a forum, a trans-butch came out as gay (for other transmasculine people) and was shunned. I was the only guy who associated with him and I found out why: a lot of people there were uncomfortable with their own identities. At one point, OK, the guy suggested that he liked me and all the guys came out of the woodwork with "I told you so! I knew it!" *rolls eyes* That revealed the problem: they were afraid of having *feelings* toward another masculine-identified person. Conversely, I have been shunned for being a straight transguy in a dominantly gay setting. Both types of behavior are wrong and are discriminatory. I suggest point-blank telling the LGBTQ people you're around that they're being homophobes and to knock it off. As for gay cis males who don't want to be involved, it may be impossible for them if you haven't transitioned so, don't take it personally. Besides, there are people who can bend a little with details for love so, don't give up!

 

First off, Welcome to EC!

As for advice, tell them that gender and sexuality are two different things. A Cismale can be bisexual as much as a transman. We're men who have different bodies. People will probably always think I'm straight because I like men; but if I were in a guy's body I'd be gay...therefore because I'm a male (in the head) no matter my genitalia, I'm gay.

Now will gay men have trouble dating transmen? Maybe. What we have downstairs certainly doesn't help us in that sense...but there are plenty of cismen who are gay that will go out with transmen because they see us as men and not a vagina. Does everyone have their preference? Of course, so not all gay men will want that, and that's fine. That just mean's they're not right for you.

YOU are bisexual. You like men and women and that's completely fine. Your gender and your sexual orientation are not the same; and those around you need to know that.

 

I'm a pansexual transman myself. I can understand your feelings... But honestly in the end you have to just keep trying until you find the right people. Not all gay men are super accepting as they think they are... But I'm sure with patience you'll find a good group to be with. Some gay people even think that we trans people shouldn't be a part of them. I've many who want the T out of LGBT. Be careful and don't let yourself be bullied.

 

From what I've heard, the problems some gay cis men have with trans men in relationships together is the idea of this Orientation Police | The Amazing Adventures of Bill

 

People are going to have their preferences,
Just like some cannot date some with a certain set of characteristics,
And in this case,
Unfortunately,
'Who' you are might be their issue.

But the key word is "their' issue,
You needn't worry about trying to impress though who are unable to find you attractive,
Or love you over such a thing,
This life is WAY to short to be worried about people you never had a chance of impressing anyways.