One teacher is being difficult...

Speak to your counselor to ask her to do ask you ask. While I have always called my students whatever they prefer, I would never hesitate to call a trans youth whatever they asked. I have... Two in my school, neither are in my classes.

The point being is speak to your advisor or counselor, or if you have a GSA or LGBT club leader talk to them.

Face it, not all teachers do right for their students. It happens. I know, I see it all around me.

I hope you can get the respect you deserve. No teacher should ever do anything that isn't in the students best interest, especially if it does not disrupt the classroom activities.

 

If the teacher is causing you problems it's very easy to ask for a transfer. State the reason as the teacher causing a hostile leaning environment.

 

How long are you stuck with this teacher?
If it's not much longer, maybe try and put up with her?
You SHOULDN'T have to, but she's too stubborn, so you may have to be the bigger man.


Either that, or try talking to the headteacher or something?

 

OK. Here's what you need to do.

Find a member of the school senior management team. Principle, vice principal, department head, whoever. Ideally, the higher you can go the better, but take what you can get. Ask them for a meeting. - I am making the assumption that since your class teachers know, other members of staff know too.

Tell them the following.

"As you are aware I have started my transition and have been asking people to use the name Dylan when referring to me.

Four of my teachers (name them), have been fantastic. There have been some slip ups where my preferred name has been forgotten, however these have almost always been met by a correction and an apology. I want to make it clear at this point that I do not take issue with people forgetting to use my preferred name. Those four teachers have been incredibly helpful to me, and have made what is easily the most terrifying thing I have ever done that little bit easier. I would like to start this meeting by formally expressing my gratitude towards these teachers.

However, I am struggling with my fifth teacher, Ms. D.

As I have said, I do not expect people to remember my preferred name immediately, nor do I expect any special treatment. All I ask is that people try and use it and become comfortable with it as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, it has been made quite clear to me that Ms D refuses to do this. I realise what I am asking is not common, however I feel that Ms D has acted quite inappropriately. During one lesson Ms D made a passive-aggressive speech to the entire class after I asked her to use my correct name. (At this point, if you actually DID lose it and scream at her, I would own up to it and apologise for it). During this speech she made it clear that 'a student' had demanded she do something she 'does not believe in'. This is both transphobic and deeply, deeply hurtful. She has also made it clear that she considers my preferred name to be nothing more than a 'nickname'.

Ms D, as with most teachers, refers to many students by use of a nickname. I provided her with some examples of students who she refers to by nicknames. It became apparent at this point, that not only is Ms D prepared to use my preferred name, but she also has not bothered to learn my BIRTH name. She informed my that she would happily use shortened versions of a name similar to mine my birth name, but most definitely NOT my actual birth name.

Ms D clearly has spent no time committing my birth name to memory, and as such I find it difficult to find reason behind her reluctance to learn my preferred name, something as I have pointed out, all the other teachers have managed to achieve with very little effort.

I don't believe this is a big request, however the effects of this action have significant effects. In my four other classes, I am happy. In this class I am deeply unhappy and it all hinges on the use of a single word the teacher probably needs to use no more than twice per lesson. Hearing my birth name is a painful experience, made more painful by the fact that everyone else has been so professional and accommodating about the whole thing.

I find myself with limited options. My hope is that I will not need my backup option.

My first option is that I ask you to speak to Ms D and request that she use the name I have asked her to. I have a right to be recognized as the gender I am, not the gender she wants me to be. I hope that you will, and I hope that she will do so.

If not, I will have to resort to my backup plan. In essence this means I will respond ONLY to the name Dylan. Dylan is my name. I have no reason to respond to any other. I would not respond to anyone who called me Lucy or Steve or Benson, so why would I respond to BIRTH NAME.

As you can imagine, this option has the potential to further anger Ms D which is something I would rather avoid. However, if she continues to be unprofessional regarding this matter, then I will have no other option.

Thank you."

BOOM.

 

Is there a GSA at your school, or any other openly trans students or alumni? They might have advice.

 

So strange that arts teachers are supposed to be the most open, right? My art teacher was the one I had problem with, too. She even gave me a suspension :\.

What I did was talk to the direction, including the director and the co-director (is that what that's called?). They fixed the problem partly, but I had to get a letter from the doctor to really have what I wanted. Knowing your other teachers are supportive, I would ask for their help, too. Teachers are supposed to talk to each other, right?

 

What Holly suggested, but also consider putting it in writing (and keep a copy for your records, of course).

It also occurs to me that it really doesn't matter *why* you prefer to be addressed as Dylan rather than by your legal given name -- the real issue is that you have a strongly-held preference for being addressed that way, and any competent, courteous professional would honor that preference.

 

Ellia knows what she is doing. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

I would suggest a formal, business-format letter that is marked "hand-delivered" and of which you maintain a copy. I would inform the supportive teachers and guidance counselor prior to submitting the letter to the principal or vice-principal. This is all assuming that your parents are aware of the situation and are supportive. If you're under 18, it should actually be them filing the complaint.

 

Ok. Here's what you do then: forget it and ACE THAT CLASS. This will be your revenge. I had a homophobic Public Speaking professor during my first year of college and my revenge was to give a speech about the unconstitutionality of DOMA. Afterward, he told me that was one of the best speeches given in his class and although he still disagreed, he could imagine "certain exceptions." ;p Seriously, hit her where it hurts - her own subject.

 

my advice may not be very helpful, but if it were me, i would call her by a different name and see if she likes it, or a male version of her name

 

That... As awesome as it would be, would end up antagonizing her.