So, I went out in public presenting as male for the first time. Me and my sister went to the mall with my kids. I doubt I passed, but it felt good trying to present. Doesn't help that my oldest daughter calls me mommy, lol. But anyways, it was a small step forward. I feel proud of myself for not having a mental breakdown from anxiety. I feel like I'm slowly building up courage and accepting myself. It's nice.
I know what you mean. I've been trying to present as male lately and I can barely convince myself I'm passing, much less other people. I ordered pizza over the phone today with my preferred name and when I got there they checked my ID with my credit card. The guy who rang me up gave me some really funny looks, but I tried to just act natural like nothing was out of the ordinary. I wish there was a way to find out if I'm passing. No one goes around saying sir/miss around here for the most part. I like to think that I am at least androgynous, but there's really no way for me to be sure.
Yeah, I feel the same way. I asked my sister, but she told me that she wasn't the right person to ask. That's pretty brave to order over the phone, because I know my voice isn't masculine or deep at all. I couldn't imagine being able to act natural in a situation like that at this point. That's another thing, though. I still haven't figured out a name for myself. I don't want to go by my given name, but I can't settle on something else. We went out shopping and got frozen yogurt, but no one addressed me as ma'am or sir, even though it's kinda common around here. The South is good about that, usually. I like to think that maybe it's because they couldn't tell. x.x I would love to look androgynous, honestly. Because at least people aren't automatically assuming female. But I think I probably just looked like a lesbian to most people, which is what everyone around here thinks when they see a masculine female, despite the fact that I was wearing my binder.
