Hey everyone, I've discussed this with my therapist for several sessions. She doesn't know what to think of it asides that it's wrong and confusing for me. Let me try and summarize it: for years, my mom's done this thing when we go out shopping as a family. We'll be walking through Target or Walmart, passing the clothing sections, and there will be a rack of dresses for toddler girls. My mom makes a scene with us where she states that if I were born a woman (boy, wouldn't she be surprised), she would make me wear all of the dresses. Now, it's embarrassing to say the least, but it also upsets me because I wish that I was born a woman. I see these dresses, and I wish that I could be able to wear feminine clothing comfortably. The fact that she brings this up, without knowing to my knowledge, is frustrating. As I said, I told my therapist about this, and she wasn't happy. I asked if she thought my mom might know that I identify as a gender-fluid woman, but it's not something we want to decide because it might just stir trouble (my family's pretty traditional. I was almost kicked out when I came out bi). A week ago, however, my dad came into my room and gave me a cute, pink and glittery pair of tweezers. He said that it was for ingrown hairs and "whatever ails [me]." I'm pretty confused and bothered by all of this, because I feel like they know and are testing the waters, but I can't come out and say that I'm their daughter. I haven't seen the therapist yet due to a nasty cold, but I'll be seeing her this Wednesday. Any advice, comments? :x
It does sound like they might know that you identify as trans*. Maybe you could try testing the waters back to see what responses that you get? They could be people that are accepting of transgender people, but not of LGB people. (I know some people like that). But, I would say that testing the waters is probably your best bet here.
Well, they've definitely caught on to something (how many dads in a traditional family, after all, give their "sons" a pink tweezer? I was in a liberal family and my dad would've never done that for my brother (or me, if I was recognized as a son)) so I'd say chances are good that should you come out, it won't come across as something that came out of nowhere. Now. They're not actively acting against you, right? So chances are also pretty fair that they'll come around fairly quickly. You're seeing a therapist, who if you let speak to them, will be able to provide some pretty valuable insight into who their daughter is. So I'd say, when you're ready to come out, just be prepared for any possibilty but hope for the best.
I would say this sounds pretty positive (compared with my family any way). If you wanted to test them further, perhaps you could try adding something feminine to your appearance and see how they react? I'm not saying to go full out wearing a dress. That could be a bit of a shock if they didn't already know! But what about make up? (guys can wear make up to right? Or a women's t-shirt or something? I guess what I mean is something more subtle that is kind of gender ambiguous but leaning towards female.
Yeah, it really surprised me, and he seemed nervous about giving the tweezers to me. But my dad is pretty liberal compared to my mom. As of right now, they're not really doing anything against me. Mom still questions my interest in men or women and dating. I'll be telling the therapist about the tweezers, bringing them in. I don't want to do anything drastic ;;
My parents have found a women's t-shirt in the laundry before. It was a My Little Pony t-shirt my boyfriend at the time had bought for me, and my parents were too excited to find it. I had to lie and say that it was a friend's shirt, and she must've dropped it in my bag (stayed over). They seemed to believe me, but they made me give it away :c I'm not sure if wearing such a shirt would go over well the second time.
I definitely agree with BradtheCat. Your parents are at the very least testing you. I mean, even if they aren't happy about having a daughter, what are they gonna do? Put you back where you came from? The best thing to do is just go with it and when the opportune time comes, try to find out where your trans status fits in with your parents.
