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I'm not sure how it came up...but =/

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Simple Thoughts, Apr 6, 2014.

  1. Simple Thoughts

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    Well my dad was doing something or another, and he decided to pull up some pictures of 'Claire' who wasn't always named Claire. She's a transgendered person my father works/worked with. I guess he just needed someone to laugh at for a bit =/

    Anyways, this somehow lead to four things being said that irked me.

    1.) He said that the whole gay thing was whatever, but if I started wearing girls clothes and stuff he'd have problems with me =( *has been wanting to do so for awhile now*

    2.) After that he said that ( since he said statement 1 ) if I ever did wear girl's clothes and things he'd take it as a personal attack on himself. ( never considering that maybe it was just something I wanted to do ) =/

    3.) Apparently Trans issues are mental disorders and something you aren't just 'born' with in his eyes *sighs*

    4.) It's apparently my brother's fault that I'm bisexual ( which he never calls bisexual...all LGBT issues he refers to as gay...it's all gay apparently )


    So yeah...fuck him

    :bang:

    I should've said something...I really should've. Why did I just sit back and let him spout a bunch on hateful nonsense? >.<
     
  2. anonym

    anonym Guest

    Yeah my mum says being transgender is a mental illness. Not really sure what to suggest other than what I plan to do - move away!
     
  3. Tetra

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    I don't know why some people can't just live and let live, instead of seeing everything as a personal attack. My parents are the same way, and it drives me insane. Trying to argue with them is like trying to argue with a brick wall, because most of the time they refuse to change their thinking pattern. They were born in a different time, and I guess that's their "excuse" for closed-minded thinking sometimes. However, maybe telling your dad how much it hurts and giving him an analogy that he can understand (compare it to something HE'S had to deal with) would help a bit.
     
  4. Kasey

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    Because it's hard to fight your family.

    I've always tried to correct them, especially my mom when using gay to describe things that aren't specifically referring to gay people specifically. But it falls on deaf ears.

    Also are you still dependent on them? That's probably a good reason why not.

    1.) are you sure he's "really ok" with your sexuality?
    2.) that's pretty rough and also wrong that he thinks your desire to express femininity has nothing to do with him (does it)?
    3.) this kills me when people say stuff like that... Such a huge lack of understanding for transgender people.
    4.) I'm not really even sure where to start on this one...

    (*hug*)
     
  5. Simple Thoughts

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    I don't live with him. I just spent the night there...it is currently be classified as 'regrettable' decision -.-'

    ---------- Post added 6th Apr 2014 at 01:20 PM ----------

    That would work with some people...It really would.

    My dad isn't a 'listening' type of person. If someone challenges his views he interrupts them, calls them an idiots, and then proceeds to spout whatever bs he's made up off the top of his head in justification >.>

    He reminds me of people in an 'unmoderated' debate...you know where the one guy is always talking over everyone else and not letting any voice his own be heard? >.<

    ---------- Post added 6th Apr 2014 at 01:25 PM ----------

    ( *hugs back* )

    I guess...*sighs*

    I already know it'd be a waste of time with my dad. It's really annoying -.-'

    No, I strive to not be dependant on him. I'd probably be doing a lot better in life if I was dependant on him, but I'd rather be hopelessly poor than have to deal with his nonsense >.<

    1.) God no. I try to completely avoid the topic 100% of the time because I'm pretty sure he isn't okay with it at all.

    2.) It has never had anything to do with him. I like the idea, and think it'd be nice to feel feminine. I don't know if it's bad to say this or not, but I'm not really firmly rooted in the idea that I want dress femininely...but I've thought about it often enough to where I feel like I need to at least explore it instead of trying to just sweep it under the rug.

    3.) Yeah I know...It's annoying. I felt bad for his co-worker knowing that my dad used her as a punchline behind her back =(

    4.) Welcome to the club -.-'
     
  6. AudreyB

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    First of all: (*hug*)

    People like your dad make up an unfortunately large part of the population: quick to judgment, indifferent to introspection and the possibility of considering an issue from a different slant. It's almost as if some form of quiet desperation underlies their path through life, as if anything outside their preconceived notions of how the world works must be quashed or trivialized before it undermines their sanity. (Or, in some cases, their sexuality, which to them is often the same thing.) People like this don't seem to realize that they already function on their own brand of insanity and tenuous reasoning. Everything above you relate your dad speaking drips with dishonesty, hypocrisy, narcissism, projection and transference. (Not to mention contempt for the human experience, since struggle over gender identity is simply one of its manifold aspects and one that affects millions of people across the world daily.)

    In the spirit of the trainwreck that's hard to look away from, I'm morbidly curious as to your dad's reasoning about how your brother is possibly culpable in your sexuality? :confused: Otherwise, as I elaborated above, the place these thoughts of his originate is so ill-developed as to be not worthy of patronizing. Fuck them, indeed. Or even laugh at them. Definitely don't consider them as worthy of entertaining. Mental, verbal diarrhea. Primordial ooze. Scorn at all costs.

    When you are ready to let your dad in on the level of his discourse, you will. Right now, count yourself blessed you don't have to be exposed to his toxic worldview daily. I'm always here for you.

    (*hug*)
     
  7. Simple Thoughts

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    (*hug*)

    "Narcissism" - I've got to point out that word in particular among all of the adjectives you used in your description. That's a very good fit for him. A really good fit.

    If you want any kind of mental image of my dad think about the t.v. show 'American Dad' I don't know if you've watched it, but if you added a hundred or so pounds to Stan Smith and change his employment from C.I.A to Data Base Administrator...well you'd have my dad pretty much 100% imagined. That's easily his personality type...

    Oh why does he think it's my brother's fault?

    That's easy. One time when I was in Kindergarten my brother offered me candy to blow a kiss at some boy. I was little kid and didn't think much of it beyond 'CANDY!' and did it. Then he told me I was gay...and my dad thinks that it made me believe I was gay or something...I didn't fully understand the logic behind it. It was just some dumb thing that happened once a long time ago =/

    I'm glad you are *hugs*

    Hey, how did stuff with your family go yesterday? ( feel free to wall message me about it. I'm curious anyways ^^ )
     
  8. Nick07

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    (*hug*) One of the hardest things for me was to accept that my parents were not as perfect as I always thought.
     
  9. Simple Thoughts

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    (*hug*)

    I know my dad's not perfect. My most commonly used adjective to describe him has been 'dick' for years at this point =/
     
  10. AudreyB

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    I don't watch American Dad, but just now queued up an episode on Youtube so I could understand your reference. Stan Smith is pretty obnoxious.

    And as for his very scientific theory about your sexuality...well, I hope he doesn't quit his day job. :dry: Sorry you have to deal with that.

    Heading to your wall now!
     
  11. Simple Thoughts

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    He is kind of obnoxious. Unlike Stan Smith there are no 'end of episode' revelations so yeah. =/

    Yeah I thought the same thing. It was stupid and just w/e.