So my mom found my women underwears in my room this morning and she confronted me about it. She asked me why but I told her that I didn't want to talk to her about it right now because even I'm not sure what to say. At least she was fine about letting it slide. I know she'll ask it again, but I don't know what to say about it. I've been questionning my gender identity for only two months so I'm still pretty confused and I'm also starting to experiment a bit. I'm also really scared because my parents found out last summer that I've been cross-dressing and they were really angry about it. I don't know what to do.
Is she a supportive kind of person? If so, maybe just tell her the truth. If not, and you're still worried, lie and say they're someone elses and they left them there.
They probably weren't as angry as they were shocked if they hadn't known before hand. If your mom was willing to let it slide, she may be more accepting. Which parent is more understanding? Try talking to them about the cross dressing and how you feel.
I already told her they are mine when she asked. (I don't have something tu use as a lie, there hasn't been a girl in my room in ages) I was so worried yesterday, I got drunk at my best friend's house. She still wanted to have a talk with me today. I'm scared mainly because I don't know what I could say. I feel that I don't have something to "come out" as right now except that I'm questionning.
Isn't questioning enough? I mean if you got caught with "your pants down" as if were, use that as an opening. Let me probe deeper. Are you unhappy as a male, or is this just curiosity?
same happen to me dont feel ashame i had a thong skirt and a shirt prety much the whole outfit since she used to put my clothes away i let my guard down and this happend i made and excuse always been good at it but honesty u are who u are just be urself i dress in private because i identify myself more of a female its a very strange urge but ur the only personwho really knows what u feel for me women clothing felt normal nothig arousing i also wondering right now how imgoig to tell them im prob looking into transitioning but u only once and u want to be happy dont do what i did and suprres my feelings now im 27 and hit a mid life crisis and trying to get my life together just express who u are and be urself if they reall care they will be inderstanding just give them time to take it in sont be to blunt simce it our nature to culture and habits such as gays to catholic hurch i feel i gave my self our long ahead of time and i think im coming out really im just reasuring famjly lol forinstance about two day ago i came out to family member it was just regular chit chat and she just ask me whats wrong and i said cant say just one of those emberansing issues she ask are u gay and i gave her curve ball but she had ask me many time before if i was gay i would always change thr subject so pretty much she really wasnt surpized we are who we are as dor me its hard accepting my self but imreally trying tk come to terms wih myself hey nothing wrong liking gurly thing and honestly people just like to put everyone down just out human nature in my opinion most people dont understand that werent born that way and sometime killing the part of us means killing ourselfs just easy it and just be honest pretty much a dead giveaway to a mom remember u can never lie to ur mom they know u very well the have sixsense hey no shame in being urself just becaeefull and dont put urself in areally bad position either stay safe and value urself becausei got fed up trying to please people and always not taking care of myself yolo ---------- Post added 7th Apr 2014 at 03:19 PM ---------- but honestly the only way u will find ou. is just being urself questions do u feel like u belog as a female? what do u see in the mirror about urself ? and do u feel disconected or like nothing satifies u and u just can be happy and arent motivated enough or depress or thoughs of waking up a girl and just beingnormal?(*hug*)
I don't say that I'm unhappy, but I won't say that I am happy either. I just feel, not indifferent, just more like I've been assuming that I am a man for 24 years. I always felt like I didn't fit with "the other guys" and I always tried my best to fit in. I used to blame this on being shy, introvert and extremely geeky. Also, my family and friends used to correct me on some of my body language and behavior because it's not something mens do. I know that it is stereotypical but I feel like mentionning it. There are also times when I said to myself that I would have wanted to be a girl, but at the time, I didn't know about LGBT and gender so I just though it was stupid and I forgot about it. But it kept coming back, not frequently, but it came back a few times. I have been crossdressing in privare since my late teens, so it's been a part of me for a while. It probably started as curiosity, but eventually it just became somthing that I did on a regular basis when I was alone at home. I started thinking about a year ago to just go out and crossdress at least at home with my family and maybe eventually out, but it never crossed my mind about being addressed as a girl. I am not sure if it is just a clothing thing or if it did allow me to get in touch with the girl in me (I don't know how to phrase that...?) but I've had a few hypothesis over time. Am I a confused crossdresser or do I fall somewhere in the trans umbrella. Or am I just a cisguy in lack of sex? (I am a virgin and I haven't had a girlfriend in over 5 years) PS: I had written a fuller and better post but the computer at school acted funny and I lot everything T_____T I tried to write it back but now I have to get in class. I will add more later when I get home.
I'm not a virgin but damn do I feel more female when I don't have contact with other females. My masculinity comes out more depending on context. But the reasoning behind your feeling is irrelevant. It all boils down to how you feel. What if I addressed you here as she or her? What if you went and even to yourself said "I am female" out loud? Would that feel good? Try answering those questions.
Just gonna share this small tidbit. I'm not sure if it can be helpful, but, I'll let it out anyhow. I recently was questioning myself as well. I never thought I was unhappy as a woman, but as I looked more into it, the unhappier I felt with myself. I would flatten my chest in the mirror over and over, and I realized that I felt better about myself that way. I kept thinking and thinking and trying new things. I knew I didn't want to be a boy. I also knew I liked wearing "girly" things such as dresses and skirts. I present myself in a decently feminine to androgynous way, but I identify as agender. I don't feel a sense of gender, but I present however I like. Just remember that your identity does not have to correspond with how you present yourself. Just keep experimenting with things however you can. I've tried explaining I'm trans* to my mother just once, but she's already forgotten. It's very frustrating, but despite everything, I'm still pushing to discover who I am. I wish you luck in finding who you are. We'll both continue searching for it. I know this isn't quite helpful with the parent problem, but I hope it helps you on your journey to discovery in some way, at least. Keep moving forward!
So from what I understand, it is "To feel, not to think" ? You can call me she, it'll give me a chance to see how it feels like, since I don't have the opportunity to do it in real life. I could try that next time I'm alone at home, but saying it out loud is totally another game than saying it in your head. Yeah, it is kind of the way I feel right now, except gender reversed. I never thought of gender before and now I feel more aware of myself in the mirror, but I don't feel dysphoric about what's downstairs.
Sup girl, how you doing? Mentally telling yourself is one thing. Saying it aloud is an entirely different thing. Even to yourself. If you pass that test "if you were like me, you'd choke up a number of times".
