There is a guy that I've known for quite a while, who has recently asked me out on a date. We don't meet again until the end of the month, and we haven't seen each other for many months. Our only connection has been through email, but the thing is, he doesn't know that I've been questioning and that I'm slowly working towards being more masculine. My main thing is: when he refers to me female, I really don't mind. I don't know if it's because it's only online or what, but one reason that keeps me from going full on trans is this issue that nags at the back of my mind. When anyone else calls me by female pronouns or my birth name it hurts me, but I feel almost nothing with him. Any input on this? I thank you all in advance! (*hug*)
Firstly, what you should identify is the reason that certain people using feminine genders for you hurts. It could be that you feel they are mislabeling you for how you wish to be perceived by them. Following this train of thought, you may feel or identify more of a feminine role whilst interacting with him, and thus you don't feel this sort of mislabeling. From the limited amount of information you provided on your situation I believe this to be the case, and the explanation for your comfortableness with him calling you by female pronouns. ---------- Post added 13th Apr 2014 at 11:50 PM ---------- If you feel at heart that you are male, to the point of choosing it as a permanent identification you should not let a slight nagging feeling prevent you from progressing forward with your transition. Do what will make you happy. Your life, your life, and your choices are ultimately up to you. If you think he won't like your gender-affiliation that is a concern you should bring up to him immediately (at this stage of your relationship). That will be a pretty clear cinch-er, as If he is accepting, of course that would be a positive sign to continue forth, and if he is not, then don't let anything someone rejecting your personal identity hold you back from anything(especially deciding your own gender identity). Keep in mind that him simply saying something along the lines of 'I prefer you as a girl' is still a big point of reference against accepting you completely. If it is anything along the lines of suggesting how you should act, dress, or speak, then it is definitely a negative. But back to the point of this post, Maybe you feel more feminine with him (as everyone has different feelings for each person they interact with) Don't let his opinion on your gender influence how you self-identify
