Gay guys calling each other 'Gurl'?

Sorry man, sometimes being a man means being a 'gurl .':roflmao:

 

Yeah : 3

Anyway I can't think of anyway they would stop unless you came out as FTM. Sorry

 

As much as I despise using the phrase "Be a man" I think it could apply here.

Be a man and tell those guys to stop calling you 'gurl'. Assert yourself!

You don't need to give them any more reason than "I don't like it".

Think about it, what response can they give "Oh I call EVERYONE 'gurl'", think about that response in any other context "Oh I call everyone sugar tits" "I call everyone a douche" "I call everyone steve". It just doesn't work.

 

hmmm ElliaOtaku has a good point, you should do that!

 

The only problem with that advice is that coming from a guy, it sounds a little girl-phobic.

 

Not really ive met plenty of girls who don't like to be bro or dude it doesn't come across as guy-phobic. It the same thing just reversed genders.

 

"Man, I feel like a gurl... er , woman." My friends from college would say gurl all the time. A few people didn't like it. IDK, it seems like harmless fun to me.

 

True but guys aren't the historically oppressed and continuously degraded gender so, it doesn't sound the same at all. :eusa_naug

 

I know plenty of cis gay men who aren't huge into using or being called "girl", so it isn't just you. For a few, it's just harmless fun, perhaps a way of taking back the term, since they're compared to women and such. Perhaps you could find other friends, or show them that you're not into it, either overtly ("knock that off!") or covertly (not using it yourself, responding in a less than enthusiastic manner)?

 

Guys, this isn't the Oppression Olympics.
Sexism is bad, no matter which gender it's directed at.

 

For what it's worth it's not just a gay thing. Cis straight guys calling eachother "ladies" in gruff voices during things like military drills and football practice is a common trope. That you could easily extend to a first-person shooter game on voice chat.

The gay part comes from drag and camp. Cis women can do drag. Gender roles are supposed to exaggerate some natural inclinations - and some of those don't even really exist, and camp drag exaggerates gender roles. So, as much as it doesn't help, they really are joking, because you are talking about a caricature of a caricature.

But yeah, like everyone else here, this is one of those "do I suffer in silence or speak up" deals that suck about being trans. Earlier today, and I don't hold it against them as they were doing their job and I would maybe have my employees do the same thing, I got "sir? man? dude?" I lost count but it was more than 10 times before I got a falafel for lunch, at a place I'm not ever going to spend my money again if I can help it.

Maybe the right thing to do would be to say something. I thought later the same thing you did. If I really wanted him to stop, I'd pretty much have to out myself as trans on the spot, or else he's going to feel terrible and not really understand why. So whatever "right thing" there is, is pretty much going to exhaust the living HELL out of me if I have to do it more than once or twice. I mean, outing myself every single time I get fast food? Not what I signed up for! So sometimes, yeah, maybe it's not ideal, maybe it's completely unfair to the business, but I will just put up with it and make a mental note where never to spend my money, because I am paying for the experience and I definitely don't want to pay for that experience.

At the same time, of course, if you never ever stand up for yourself, people are just going to keep doing it. So sometimes it's worth it to say something.

There is definitely no one size fits all answer here, so all I have to say, is I really feel where you're coming from. It sucks. At least you're not the only one going through it though

---------- Post added 15th Apr 2014 at 04:34 PM ----------

Well put!

Gates I sincerely appreciate where you're coming, from but in my experience unless you're being silly the :eusa_naug smiley usually... carries the opposite of the meaning you intended. I just don't want to see you get more negative attention than the problem you were trying to address.

 

Um, if gay guys (cis) call other (cis) guys "gurl", then aren't they correctly gendering you by referring to you as "gurl"? Gay guys obviously don't mean "your gender is female" when they address other gay guys as "gurl", it's simply a term of endearment, perhaps with more than a hint of camp.

"You guys" is often used to address a group of both men and women, and boys are trained from birth (especially out on the playground) that the worst thing possible is to be like a girl (e.g. "you throw like a girl"), so it's actually a bit of revolutionary anti-sexism for guys to be comfortable enough to address and be addressed as "gurl", even though it's purely a fun term of endearment.

But if it really bothers you, well then, I guess just tell them to stop calling you "gurl".

But what would they call you instead? "Guy?"

"You go guy" doesn't have quite the same ring as "You go girl!".

 

I can see how you'd feel that way about the word since before this you probably were referred to as "gurl" by women while presenting as female... but now I'd think it would be nice for you to hear, since they're confirming your gender identity.

 

Yeah if at all possible, I know you can't always deep down, but that is a really good way to look at things. It's a weird part of male culture but they are treating you like a guy.

 

But what would they call you instead? "Guy?"

Well, that or Alex...or man, or bro, or dude, or about a billion other things that work just as well...

but now I'd think it would be nice for you to hear, since they're confirming your gender identity.

It's confirmation in a really bad way though. On the one hand you are treated like any other guy BUT it also makes you feel totally crap. It's like when my mum tells me I MUST pluck my eyebrows if I want to be a girl. I know what she's getting at and she's treating me like a girl, but all it does is point out something that's wrong and make me feel shitty.

Thing is, there are plenty of reasons to not want to be called 'gurl'. I know plenty of cis guys who would find it really annoying to be constantly called 'gurl' even if it IS a term of endearment. Terms of endearment only work if the person you use them on actually likes it!

I mean if I sit her and start calling ever EC user 'my little queer-bags' because I was deluded enough to think it's cute, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have a lot of people sitting here defending me by saying "it's a term of endearment let it go". I'm pretty certain that it would make a lot of people very upset, even if they identify as queer!

 

Couldn't you just tell them that it hits a sore spot with you? If you don't want to reveal that you're trans* just say you've been picked on for not being macho enough. That should get them off your back.

 

oh my gawd i'm loling XD Greatest term eva! :lol:

 

Well yeah, a gay guy calling an insecure sexist homophobic straight man "gurl" is liable to be beaten up, the subtext being that being compared to a girl is the most egregious of insults. But that says more about the straight man than it does about the gay guy, the former is insecure in his masculinity, the latter is comfortable with who he is.

 

Everyone please keep this about helping Calix