I think I am a female. Atleast 99% of me does. I'm a girl in every single way but sexual. That's what's weird. In almost every single one of my sex fantasies I'm a boy. Not like the talking part, but whenever it's actual sex, I am 90% of the time a boy, and when I am not a boy, I am a girl with fake boy parts. I am a girl in every way but that. I do not get disphoria (Is that how it's spelled?). I enjoy the parts that I was born with. I have tried enjoying sexual fantasies where I am a girl, but I get a romantic feeling instead of sexual release. It doesn't satisfy me nearly as much. Can anyone explain this? Would this mean that part of me is trans?
What you fantasize about isn't necessarily how you want to be. Do you have any other desires to be a guy/ feel like a guy? For example, if you imagine yourself married and with kids, are you a husband and father or wife and mother? It could also be a coping mechanism; you feel free to pursue women as a man but not so much as a woman. I read gay manga because I feel guilty if I lust over women but feel no guilt with that yet I am straight as an arrow. The mind can play amazing tricks on us...
To be honest you don't sound like a transman, if that's what you're aiming for. You sound like you already know your gender identity; and that's female. I agree with Gates though. It could very well be a coping mechanism.
