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The "do I pass" thread

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Just Jess, Apr 16, 2014.

  1. Just Jess

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    Hi everyone,

    I wanted this to be a central place where we could ask each other how well we're passing conforming to society's draconian standards :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: CoC rules still apply. Please post pictures in your private album instead of in thread. To do that, if you go to your profile by clicking on your name in the upper right, then on the right hand side you'll see photo albums. Easy breezy. Then once you're approved, make a note here, and we can give each other friendly pointers.

    I personally have reached a point where my "boy mode" isn't as safe as it used to be, which was the inspiration behind this thread. I think it goes without saying around here, but people are nervous already, and any kind of shaming won't be tolerated. But I know, for issues like personal safety and the ability to get jobs as my target sex, that a thread like this would help me a lot and I'm guessing a lot of you all are in the same boat.

    So I am your guinea pig, any advice would be appreciated. I'm not too far along but I think I have pictures going back 6 months.

    EDIT:

    Yes. Yes we can.
     
  2. Kasey

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    I was just thinking of doing the same thing and asking for a sticky. I like the concept for a centralized thread for opinions and tips.

    I do like the ground rule of people who submit to Judgement should be ready for pointers and not take it personally if something isn't right.

    Nor should the "judges be overly critical" when it is unnecessary.

    And Jess gimme a sec to look at your pics if you want me to comment.

    Your latest picture in the blue dress works very well. And that picture 8 with the short hair would so work for me if you had longer hair. You have the round face and expression flawless in that pic.
     
    #2 Kasey, Apr 16, 2014
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2014
  3. Just Jess

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    Thanks a lot Kasey :slight_smile: I have to expand my wardrobe a little bit, so if I were going to critique myself that's where I'd start. I mean I love that black skirt and from the other pic my blue cardigan. I'm still figuring out what looks good and what doesn't.

    I really like the two ground rules you suggested too. Criticism should be given and taken in a constructive way.
     
  4. Gates

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    Hi Jess,

    I like the pictures with the pink sweater. This color looks good on you. :slight_smile: My only advice would be that you may want to tweeze a more obvious arch into your eyebrows to open up the space between them and your eyes and make your eyes more of a focal point. You might also benefit from a less blunted haircut that is shaped around your face and has some height up top (ask them to stack the back to add volume). Otherwise, yeah, I'd be confused to see you as a "guy." (*hug*)
     
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  5. Just Jess

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    Aww thanks so much Gates! I've been letting people at the mall do the whole eyebrow thing, I really need to learn how to do that myself.

    With the hair thing, if it's not asking too much do you think you could maybe find some pics online with the look you're talking about?
     
  6. ChromeNerd

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    I hope this doesn't sound rude, but I think you should do something about your mustache.
     
  7. drwinchester

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    Yeah, think you're passing pretty well, Jess. If I passed you on the street, I'd assume you were a ciswoman. Especially in latest pics- keep hair out (how you've got it's really framing your face in a feminine way, so it works) and keep up work. :slight_smile:
     
  8. PeytonRose

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    I really like what you've done Jess! Pink is a fantastic color on you and I absolutely adore your hair style!

    I was curious as to what people think about my pictures though? I'm definitely thinking that I'll be growing my hair out, but aside from that...
     
  9. Just Jess

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    Not at all. I've been doing laser hair removal but that one area has been really stubborn.
     
  10. BookDragon

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    Pulling no punches I see!

    Not the best way to phrase it but the point is valid. You do seem to have the same problem as me when it comes to pictures! That top lip won't shave close enough or if it does it's a shadow...I don't know what it is, I just know whenever I take a picture of my face my top lip is noticeably darker than the rest of my face and unfortunately Jess that is also the case in at least one of your pictures...

    I do have a question though, because I've noticed (or I THINK I've noticed) that it doesn't show up in mirrors so perhaps it's just cameras. Is this something you've experienced??
     
  11. PeytonRose

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    I have that problem too on my face. My facial hair is really stubborn and i've gotten OcD about shaving it on a daily basis. It's one of the things that I think is giving me away as a guy still and I'm hoping that it will get better if/when I start HRT. I've tried covering up with foundation but thus far I think that has only served to highlight the fact that I'm trying to cover it up. Why can't anything be simple? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  12. drwinchester

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    You'll get there. Think you're off to the good start- if you grow out your hair and style it, I think you've got the kind of face that'll really work for you. You have a pretty feminine face already.
     
  13. Just Jess

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    I do see some potential there. I'm guessing you have a situation where you need to keep your hair cut short though? Are you opposed to the idea of using a wig or hair extensions? At the very least so you can see how it looks and work around it.

    This is harder than I thought it would be, I don't want to come across like a jerk at all.

    ---------- Post added 17th Apr 2014 at 12:11 AM ----------

    If I ever find a make-up trick that works for that believe me I will share it and be a millionaire overnight :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: For what it's worth, I did have one laser session between the pics with me in front of my screen, and the one in my blue cardigan with my hair down, so you can see about how much difference a single session makes.

    Hormones unfortunately don't do anything in this department, you really need permanent hair removal, laser or electro.

    I will be SO HAPPY when I finally get it all zapped off. It has already come a long way, you would not BELIEVE how bad I used to be. I used to get 1 PM shadow :icon_redf
     
  14. PeytonRose

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    I took absolutely none of that as being a jerk :slight_smile:

    Nah, I've been toying with the idea of growing my hair long (again. I had it long YEARS ago but I had facial hair as well.) I always loved my long hair though but I love the short hair as well. However, in another thread I was informed I should grow my hair out some. That's going to take some time though and in the meantime I figured I'd aim for a more feminine pixieish hair style :slight_smile: I'm not opposed to the idea, it's just going to take some doing to get there again :slight_smile:

    Also, thank you for the statement about my face looking feminine! I took it as a compliment and it made me smile and perhaps blush a little bit :grin: (!!)

    ---------- Post added 17th Apr 2014 at 04:15 AM ----------

    Oh yes, it has gotten to the point where, like I said, I pretty much shave EVERY day in the shower and on the way to work. It feels so smooth but I know that the shadow is still there.

    Cest la vie. Perhaps i should start collecting cans so I can afford laser hair removal :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    ---------- Post added 17th Apr 2014 at 04:18 AM ----------

    Kind of off topic but on topic at the same time. I just uploaded some pictures I took today and they're awaiting moderator approval? I noticed that a couple of my other pictures were as well. Granted the sizes need to be changed so I can get them right side up, but I was just curious as to how long it usually takes?
     
  15. BookDragon

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    Random thought concerning this thread, can we make it a rule people only give advice if someone asked for it...last thing I want is to join in this thread and have a bunch of different people pointing out I look like a man!
     
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  16. Just Jess

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    I will edit that in to the OP.

    Sofiya, they usually take about a day.
     
  17. Jinkies

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    Alright, I hope I'm not being selfish by stepping in here only to ask for critique (everything that I'd say to those who've asked has already been said).

    Be blunt if you must. I've taken critique before, and the last thing I like hearing about anything I do is "It's good" as though it's perfect. If it were perfect for me, I'd be getting misgendered 50% of the time. I'd say in the US, it's 5% and in the UK, it's about 20%. Obviously, some things aren't working. I'm working on the zits. That's priority uno.
     
  18. Just Jess

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    Definitely not selfish. I'm glad people are using the thread for what it's for :slight_smile:

    So one thing I have found when you're trying to present female is that your clothes have to fit way better. You don't have anywhere near as much slack. Guys clothes... I mean they have sizes and numbers but if you're a small and you wear a large or vice-versa no one will care at all.

    It's frustrating, because the natural waist a lot of us have above our hips looks odd when we're wearing clothing sewn for bodies that went through female puberty, and when we wear them below our guts "like a guy", same deal. Worse, we usually end up hiking things to *ahem* hold things in place.

    But yeah, IMO, cool that you are confident wearing a skirt that short, the length really isn't the problem. But it really looks like the waistband ends up too high around your waist.

    And longer sleeves I really really feel will be more flattering for your frame.

    So my advice would be experiment with long sleeves, and I know it's hard and frustrating especially with limited access to clothes to begin with, but try out different sizes and wearing things different ways 'till you get your clothes looking the way you want them. You need a mirror that'll show from your head to just above your knees at the least.

    ---------- Post added 17th Apr 2014 at 01:21 AM ----------

    You know I said all that but the jeans skirt actually looks really great :slight_smile: I think what I'm noticing about the black skirt is the way it kind of... maybe it's your pose, but the way it kind of goes out in front of you instead of falling straight down.

    I definitely still wanted to mention trying long sleeves though.

    ---------- Post added 17th Apr 2014 at 01:30 AM ----------

    Also, pretty much any screen print shirt, even a Dr Who one, just won't work. Everyone, cis women included, looks masculine in a screen print shirt. Any time you want to present male, that's the way to go.

    Sorry I am writing a book :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: But I also think you could really benefit from a little more swoop in the neck.

    From what I can tell when someone can't gender someone, they usually gender them male. And unfortunately people do tend to gender most people. So any time you just have no clues that you want to be read female at all, that's the direction they'll go. If you have some weight in the female direction, THEN that is when you will get a nice 50 %.

    Just an aside but pic 7 looks nice! A little like your old avatar.
     
  19. Miiaaaaa

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    Firstly, I'd like to say, awesome Adventure Time poster. <3
    Secondly, I think you look very androgynous already. Depending on whether you want to seem more female or male comes down to finer details, like a more feminine hairstyle etc. :slight_smile:
     
  20. Stacy in MA

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    Have any of you tried the trick of putting tiny dots of red lipstick (I use MAC So Chaud, a matte orange-ish red) on the problem areas and really smoothing them in before applying foundation? You really only use a small amount and the red does not actually show through the foundation. A really sweet MAC makeup artist told me about this - I believe she said that the red helps cancel out the 'blue-black' of the hair. I think it's supposed to be the same idea as using that green tinted concealer on red spots/acne underneath the make up that matches your skin tone. I feel like it helps a little, and it certainly doesn't hurt anything, so it might be worth a try.
     
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