I am pretty close with my general manager. I wonder if i should tell him that i will begin HRT. But i will NOT tell my other co-workers. But then again. I don't know if i should tell my General Manager until the changes begin to take effect. What do you guys say?
Actually, he doesn't know yet. How I have been feeling as of late. I haven't had a chance to speak with him about it. I still dress like a man. Whether I am at home, work or school. Only in my social life i've dressed up as the real me. Without my brother or my dad seeing me. Only my mom and a small handful of people were able to see me as a woman. Funny enough I began going to a new nail salon close to home. They asked me if i had a girlfriend. I told them that I am complicated. Lol
Then I'd say need-to-know basis. I was outed at work, by a "fellow queer" person and had an investigation in hr because of the rumor. I then decided to own it and clear up any misconceptions, if people asked me. That was in early January and I'm still being asked about whether I'm transitioning or not. Back then I was in limbo about it. Now, I identify as genderqueer rather than trans female, so the answer is no. I'll deal with what I've been dealt (thinning hair and other curses of a testosterone-ravaged body). But I'll still dress ... I'll maybe use light make-up eventually. Anyway ... Sorry, this is your poll/thread ladyblacksoul. Went on a tangent there ... I say need-to-know until you're comfortable being the real you in public full-time. You could baby-step it. Maybe wear a cute, feminine necklace or some ladies'layering tanks with work attire. Small steps can help everyone to acclimate so it's not so shocking when you do come out at work. That's what I've done; now I'm wearing nothing men's outside work but socks, shoes and (sometimes undies) and i mix-dress at work. Works pretty well. All the best! Emma
The thing is (not to derail) but I am in a similar situation to you except that being British means that I have to inform my manager and do a real life test for a year before hormones even start. As such If I was in your shoes and had a choice I wouldn't tell anyone anything until the changes have gotten too big to hide, thats all I can really say on the subject.
This is one of those deals where everyone's advice is gonna come up short. Including mine, since there's no right answer. Every answer has its advantages and disadvantages. Telling him now, bonus, you have plenty of time to figure things out. If you have a human resources department, he can direct you there. Plus you have a likely ally later. You'll have the ability to slowly ramp up your presentation this way too. This is my preferred approach for that reason. Telling him when you're on HRT and it's obvious, one plus is you won't have to bind your breasts after you tell him. Otherwise you can hide everything else indefinitely if you really want to. This kind of transition is a little more "sudden". I mean, everyone reaches a point where you "officially" switch, just this way you switch basically everything at the same time, kind of like a band-aid. And if you are at all scared as far as job stability, this approach means that you basically completely transitioned even if you do lose your job, and can start your next job as a woman. This is I think the "safest" option that balances your transition needs with your job needs. Never telling, I mean, it's up to you if you can handle that. The benefit is that there is minimum job risk, none of your relationships with your coworkers have to change. I can say that transition and my opportunity to be myself outside of work has meant changing enough that being male at work gets more and more awkward. It's hard when you have less and less in common with "the guys" every day. But some people do make this work. I couldn't do this, though; I'm learning that being a woman all the time is just something I always needed. So yeah, I mean, weigh the risk - you know your manager better than me, and your needs and what you can't change, and the way you'd like to switch presentation together.
I wonder at what point should i go full time. I was thinking that once i look "woman" enough i will start dressing full time. When would be a good time to start full time dress up?
The votes and are and so is my decision. According to the most recent events. My boss and i are going to enter a business venture...In short the guy we paid to fill the vending machines retired. We now own the vending machines and i will fill them on the weekends when they become empty. He will give me a percentage of the money made from the vending machines. So since now we became partners on a business venture the most reason now i feel i should open up to him. So i talked with him briefly, I asked him what he was doing on 5/13 by himself. He said he doesn't have any meetings planned. I told him that i consider him a friend outside of work. And i would like to grab a beer and talk to him. He wanted to know if it's something or bad. I told him it's awesome for me but it's so private i don't want to discuss it at work. He said he's game. So i'll give a quick back story, the first time we worked together this was before he became the general manager. He asked if me i was gay. I answered him at the time that i wasn't gay. I was a free spirit, i don't think he bought it, as he is VERY perceptive. Anyway, he's probably one of the only managers i have ever worked for that has my complete respect. And now that i literally because his right hand i feel that i should tell him that i plan on starting HRT and then sexual reassignment surgery down the line. I feel that things will be okay. After i speak with him i would like to talk to HR to see what my options are. 2nd of all, my ice breaker will be bringing him back to the moment that he asked me that i was gay. Anyway that's what's next, i don't know but i definitely have more faith in humanity than i normally give credit for.
