So I have a few questions. this is for lesbians, but I do accept anyone's response. I have been going back and forth about what it would be like to be in a lesbian relationship. its a little uncomfortable but i'm intrigued. However, what would gender roles be like its confusing for me because I wear boxers, i'm pretty handy but i also wear thongs and like to be held. I feel as though no woman would know what to do with me, like she'll think i don't know who i am whether its stud or fem and won't want to be with me. or i know i may sound ignorant right now but just try to understand where i am coming from. this is my personal opinion. women to me are already sensitive and selfish in some ways, men know how to handle us. Me in a relationship with another woman sounds like arguing all day I don't even have female friends except for like 2. women like to hold their significant other a certain way and act submissive. i do not feel comfortable being the "Dominant lesbian" for the whole entire relationship. i want to feel loved and DESIRED too. i want to be treated like i'm a sexy woman as well. and this is why i feel me being with men would make sense. but in reality i avoid men all together, i'm only always interested in being friends and when they touch me i get offended. my excuse is..."well they're crossing the friendship boundary, friends don't have sex or touch each other that way''. guys just end up looking at me like i'm crazy To me i think being with another woman doesn't look right. (I support the lgbt community 110% by the way I am referring to myself not looking right with another woman) who would pay for dinner? pick me up when if i'm hurt or too sick to walk? who is going to hold the car door open for me? who is going to propose on one knee? i see all those things happening with men but i don't feel deep down that's what i want. but that is what i think feels normal to me. Can anyone relate or understand what I am struggling with by any chance?
I completely understand your hesitation. I had a lot of the same fears myself. And while I haven't had any experiences I have come to a realization. First you don't have to play by typical gender roles. Many lesbians are neither butch nor femme but regular women who are very complex multi-sided people. As for the arguing men and women argue women and women argue everyone argues. It's true that women have more hormone fluctuations and can be more moody but it wouldn't be all fighting. You learn to exist in hormonal peace. Second the whole dominant thing. There is a reason lesbians are called lesbians. It is BECAUSE they love and desire women. Not all women like to be submissive either. Sometimes the man is the submissive even girly one. I can't speak for all but most lesbians will want you to feel sexy. As I have said they love women they find them sexy and most love women as a man would. I understand the feeling of wanting someone to take care of you, propose, and all that stuff. But really you can't help it if you don't like men. Once you find a woman your attracted to and eventually love the rest will just follow. It sounds like your hesitations and questions are holding you back from exploring the lesbian world. At first I couldn't imagine myself with a woman but once I got over the gender roles that get programmed into our heads I found I did like women and just didn't understand how lesbian relationships worked. Take some time and maybe trying going on a date or talking to a local lgbtq group. Just don't try and fit into a box because you can't wrap your head around the way something would work. Just let it happen. Have fun! B) <3
Thanks for your feedback, i know i sound a bit antiquated. i guess its the way i was raised unfortunately.
Actually, there really isn't such a thing as gender roles in the LGBT community. You can have a butch/femme relationship, a butch/butch relationship or a femme/femme one. Butch girls can also be submissive and passive, while femmes can wear the pants/be more dominant, etc. It depends on the relationship. Gender roles are really just a heterosexual thing You'll find plenty of lesbians who are more equal in terms of that.
