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Am I Trans?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by HermioneGaynger, Apr 25, 2014.

  1. I think I might be trans. It all started when I was little. When I would play house I was always insistent on being the husband. One time I even chopped off all my hair with safety scissors because I wanted to be a boy. Fast forward to 7th grade. I shaved off all my hair and only wore boy clothes, but I wasn't trying to be a guy per say, so when I was called sir or buddy I got upset. By 8th grade I thought I was trans and started binding and wearing only guys clothes and started identifying as a lesbian with everyone because that's what I thought I was (I didn't think there were straight/bi transguys). But then I got a boyfriend and I started dressing like a girl because that's what I thought he wanted. It wasn't dysphoric, but it felt like wearing a costume. Like I wasn't being true to myself. We broke up and I kept the girly thing up but I've been so depressed and haven't realized why until today. I'm so uncomfortable with myself and my appearance.I hate female pronouns. I hate being a girl. It's not who I am. Idk what to do. What do you guys think?
     
  2. Kasey

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    First of all you need to decide for yourself how you feel.

    That being said you exhibit many of the properties I do. Particularly the whole "in a costume" part.
     
  3. AudreyB

    AudreyB Guest

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    I've had a similarly confusing past, Hermione. I'd say I feel like a male about 70-75% percent of the time, but in no way is that a monolithic figure. Sometimes I can go days at a time feeling purely female and it is difficult for me to go out into the world vested in my male "costume". I've literally never had someone use a female pronoun to address me, not even online, so I don't really know have much of a concept of pronouns when it comes to myself. I'm a very spiritual person (i.e., I feel like the body we inhabit is really too confining for satisfying experience), so I guess I don't attach much significance to pronouns. "He", "she", "him", Her"? Yeah, it's all good with me, I think.

    Why do you hate being a girl? Do you feel like something isn't registering with you when you, say, put on a bra, or maybe encounter someone socializing with you as a girl? I know in my experience, male clothing and socialization often isn't a problem, but often it is. I see other girls wearing the most adorable, delicate-looking outfits and wish I could wear them. Or pine to escape from this "machismo" hemisphere in which most male interaction seemingly dwells. I want to be able to talk to someone about things close to my heart, things I am feeling, delicate interests I have (where did you get those shoes?).

    I dunno, you may be genderfluid, Hermione. I seem to recall you posting in the past about being OK with, or at least being more undecided about being a girl. (Please correct me if I am wrong.) Anyway, something to consider.
     
  4. An Gentleman

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    I'd only recommend HRT to those who have physical dysphoria.
    Do your sexual characteristics not match your "true self" (if that even makes sense?), or cause distress because of it? You definitely seem social dysphoric. However, gender does not equal how you act. It's a part of who you are. It's an innate thing. The "feel like a man/woman" thing is dismissed as ridiculous by some. But it's some scientific shit. The brains of trans people are closer to their gender than their sex, if you see what I mean.
     
  5. I don't have a lot of dysphoria except during periods. I don't really think I need HRT if I figure out I'm trans. I'm seeing my counselor tomorrow who is also specializes in LGBT issues, so I'll talk to her about it. Thanks for the input.