Hello, I am a teen (will not share exact age) and a trans female (meaning I was assigned as male at birth but wish to be the opposing gender). I am the youngest in a family of 5 or 6 people, both numbers including me. My brother, sister, divorced mother and father, and a step-dad. My dad is an extreme baptist, sister and brother aren't really focused and caring about that but they believe in God and the Bible, meanwhile me, my mom, and step-dad don't care for any religion/anti-religion. My dad and sister are homophobes who think LGBT is a choice, I don't believe my brother is, and my mom+step dad certainly aren't at all. My whole life, I was raised as a boy and for some reason I liked that as a kid, but I always wondered and fantasized about being a woman (as long as I can remember, since 5, 6, maybe 7). I started to just reach the age where I just had to think and find out exactly who I was, and although it sounds cheesey that's what I really did and had to do, this was years ago, when I was just 10 I think. I never thought twice about it. I never came out to anybody other then some other trans I met online who doesn't even know my real name, and I quickly pretended to joke around and denied it right after. I basically never told anyone, ever. I never really want to, I just wish I was born female overall, there's obviously SRS and it obviously helps, but I can't really live until the Spoiler "GAY IS SIN" or "Shemale trap" culture is gone, I pretty much fear what society will think of me. I'm filling this page with useless and unneeded BS, so... TL;DR Never told anybody about being transsexual, some of family are homophobes, afraid of what society will think. P'S Please post your experience with M2F pills and SRS below.
Hi Tracos, First I hope you don't mind, I promise I try hard to avoid doing that ever - this is honestly the first time I have before PMing the person first - it's just that some of our members have gone through some really terrible things where words like Spoiler faggot or shemale were being used while they happened. After being on hormones, I can say for sure that a lot of becoming a woman for those of us that do, is growing up all over again. And a lot of that growing up, I did before I was on hormones but after I was "out of the closet". We do change our bodies, and that is the most important thing for a lot of us, myself included. But with that change comes a lot of others. Every part of the body changes with hormones. Most of them change in obvious ways, like breasts or hips. And the one part of the body that is most affected by my hormones is my brain. Now with me, those changes were welcome things, but to a lot of men, those changes just would not be fun at all. So the reason I mention those changes though isn't the normal PSA you hear from a lot of us. What I learned is that it takes time to learn how to deal with all these changes inside. People say that transitioning is like going through a second puberty, and it really is. You don't start out a woman, you start out something closer to a girl. You become a woman as you learn how to get around the world in your adult female body. Just with some life experience so you can catch up faster. And the reason I am mentioning this to you, is because a lot of the things I needed to do to become a woman, are things I did before I started hormones. It's really easy to live vicariously through people online. Or to get crazy jealous of people with their slide-show youtube videos. I used to all the time. Saying that I am SO glad they are there, they gave me hope right when I really needed it. It ate me alive too, the year between my coming out and my starting hormones. But part of the reason that did, is I feel like I treated them like a "rite of passage". Part of it is that I genuinely needed them, don't get me wrong. Taking care of this problem... it's a little bit like, being in a house that has a backed-up garbage disposal and then going outside. While I was inside the house I could tell something was wrong in the back of my mind and felt bad, I even knew what the problem was, but I was used to it. Now that I have gone outside and come back in, I wonder how I ever managed to deal with it. But a huge part of it was, I looked at people online, and I wanted to be them. Bad. So I am happy to share all my experiences places like here. Really anything you wanna know, ask away, I am an open book. But I really think it would help more if I could tell you how I came to terms with being trans and started telling the people that need to know about it. Even if you are one of those people that wants to go "stealth" eventually - that is, you take care of this problem, you are a woman, your past is in your past, and one day people only know you are trans if you tell them - everyone in our life that comes with us, transitions with us. So if transition is something you want, or even feel like you need, then unfortunately dealing with some adversity and letting people know uncomfortable truths is part of it. Fortunately I have a lot of experience learning how to do that. The real trick is having your confidence come from inside instead of other people. Of course if you can handle being in the closet, you know you a lot better than me. I am here to help any way I can. Some of us do find a kind of balance where that works. But one thing a lot of us find out we absolutely need to do even in that situation eventually is to tell one or two people we can trust about yourself, that will keep a secret, so you have someone to talk to. I'd be honored if EC was your one or two people. Just, the first time I was myself in front of another person IRL, that experience changed me a lot and made a lot of other things easier to deal with. If that is at all possible for you I really do not want to cheat you out of that. Still, if that is not an option, you can always be yourself here. So with all that in mind, and without chewing your ear off more than I already have, would you want to hear more about my becoming a woman? Medical stuff's easy to summarize. * I have a female libido * I do have to shave on my face, but there is a lot less coloration when I do, and I don't have to shave as often. I did laser hair removal, I am 5 / 6 of the way through it. * I am growing breasts * My fat is moving slowly from my waist to my hips. I put on weight after leaving the military and I am losing a lot of that again, getting to where I was in the military again might not be realistic but I have come close, so it's hard to say exactly what's causing what here. * I can lift as much as I always have, but I can't keep it up as long. My old workout routine is really punishing now. * Although some things where I use my own body weight, like "dips", are easier now * Aerobics are pretty much the same * I cry a lot more * Things "down there" work a lot differently. They do still work, just, differently. I probably can't function sexually as a male any more. I am however still orgasmic. Probably some more things I'm leaving out. But the rest of it - coming out in a relationship, the first few times I went out into the world as myself, working on my voice and all the things I did the year I was waiting for hormones - I really think that could help more with your situation. But I think I've drilled that home probably a little too much by this point Is there anything specific about transition you would like to know? ---------- Post added 30th Apr 2014 at 03:17 AM ---------- One last thing but I absolutely do not want to pressure you to come out any faster. I grew up in a bad place that was definitely not safe to come out in. So as much as it sucks that I waited, in a lot of ways I am glad I did leave their house and go through the military first. It sounds like you are in a dangerous situation to come out in. But I don't think that should stop you from planning on what you will do when you are independent.
I read your reply, I'm glad it was long. Lots of info. You answered pretty much all my questions, it's okay if you don't answer some more but; When did you start transitioning? How long have you been on the pills? Does your family know? If so what was their reaction and how did you respond?
