So this week I decided to go along to a trans support group to meet some real life trans people. I thought it would be a step in the right direction but you know what? I didn't like it. I didn't really feel like I could relate to any of the people. We might be all be trans but that is all we had in common. There was no one around my age and it made me feel somewhat depressed. I don't know if I like the idea of being in a trans exclusive group of people. It drew my attention to how isolating and depressing life can be as a trans person and bringing that to the forefront didn't help with my mood. The issues raised included harassment, isolation and loneliness, lack of available funds and resources for the local trans community and the neglect of the T in the LGBT community. The thing is I didn't care about any of those things. I mean I do but I don't want to spend my time thinking about them more than I need to. I think about my gender dysphoria almost every minute of every day and to go to a group that is focusing on being transgender as well just didn't work for me. Not to mention that being around other trans people is a MASSIVE dysphoria trigger. I feel bad for saying this but I couldn't help noticing how people didn't pass and why. In a way, I fear that being around other transgender people will only make me obsess about the things that are wrong with my body and the things that I need to change. I like EC and I think this forum is all I need in terms of support from other trans people. This forum feels more of a community than the one I found at my local centre. I may be wrong but I think on here, there is a greater sense of unity between LGBTQ and that is important to me. I don't favour 'trans only' groups. To me, that only isolates us further. I am more than trans. Yes it is a part of who I am and unfortunately, it is going to be the first and most visible part of my identity but I don't know...something about joining a group because I am trans...it just wasn't for me. Am I weird? What are others experiences of trans support groups?
When I saw the psychologist who referred me to the GIC, he found a local trans group on the internet and asked me if I'd seen it and suggested it might be a good idea. You've just said exactly the same thing I said to him. It's not weird to not want to go to a place that reminds you of depressing things. It's CERTAINLY not weird to not want to hang out with people you can't relate to for various reasons. Thing is, if you went over and over again and talked to everyone there repeatedly you might find some people you have things in common with and you might really enjoy their company. BUT until then you are in a room with people whose only link to you is gender...sounds like a party...*sarcasm*. If I wanted to go and be social I want to be social with people roughly my age and/or with similar interests that are immediately apparent, and I want to do that during an activity or in a place that already interests me! I want that because ideally if I'm making new friends, I want to meet people I'm happy hang out with outside the group. Potentially I'm looking for something romantic. But the point is if I'm surrounded by people 20+ years older than me I'm not going to get that. They may be great in the group but it wouldn't necessarily work for me outside the group.
