Dating and FtM.

Well, i cant really help you, but i feel much the same way since i feel as though im supposed to be a woman, and i am very much attracted to women. And transitioning scares me for that same reason, what if i'll never find a gf who will accept me? Will it be okay if i for awhile still have the same parts as my old self? All of this and more, i guess it just comes down to finding the right one but, its gonna be a bumpy ride ,_,

 

Maybe LGBT events and Gay bars is a possiblity i guess, makes it easier to strike up a conversation, dont know about the gay bar though, i know alot of the bars in denmark is marked as either gay or lesbian.... Not really Trans or anything :s

 

LGBT societies and stuff are good.
But this, so damn much!!

 

You are echoing my thoughts so much right now ... :/

 

It's ok. You know why? Because the people you aren't the only one. Trans people exist! (We knew that already). Many trans people are smart and witty and awesomely hot. Go find them and date them. There are so many people like you who think no one will ever love them as themselves because of their gender. Find one of them, and you'll both be the happier for it.

 

I have no problems with dating a trans person, but sometimes comments like these can make me feel like people think a cis person can't be interested in a trans one. A friend of mine who if FtM is married to a cis gay guy. So it does happen

 

Sorry! I didn't mean to be misunderstood. I'm genderqueer and just got out of a long relationship with a cis guy, so I know it can and does happen. I just meant that, if you are worried about being misgendered in a relationship, dating trans people will ensure that you won't be. But you can and should date cis people, if you want to.

 

I feel the same way. I just got out of a long term relationship, and before I was involved in this one, I hadn't fully come to terms with my gender identity. So I've never really approached dating with the fact that I'm ftm fully in mind, and now that I am, it just seems impossible. Granted, I never approached dating at all - I basically just fell into relationships with guys that were interested and called it a day, and they've all been complicated relationships because of my body issues.

I know in the back of my mind that dating isn't impossible, but everything does feel so much more complicated now. In some ways I guess it's easier to see who's worthwhile and who's not - easier to weed out the people that just aren't worth bothering with. Maybe that sounds callous, but I've never been in the business of thinking with my heart, and romance is something that's lost on me.

I've considered the local gay bars, but I don't know that they're worth the effort. Most of the men that frequent the place are...mature, bear types...though the weekends bring out the younger crowd. And more often than not I get glanced at by lesbians, but nothing more. I think the only people that can tell I'm not a lesbian are actual lesbians. I do like going there for fun occasionally, but I'd feel awkward trying to meet people there - I assume they prefer cis people. I've heard some trans people recommend online dating, but I don't think I care enough about dating to go through the trouble.

 

I'm having the same kind of issues, only the other way around. I mean, I was pretty shitty at dating back when I considered myself a straight male, but now it's like straight women aren't going to want to date a biological male that wants to be a woman, and I feel like lesbians will probably see me as a guy, or at least not be interested cause of my gross-ass body.

 

I'm kinda afraid of dating in general. I think I'll just stick to bi guys/girls, at least until I get on T.

 

I guess it is fairly complicated, but being trans isn't a 'dealbreaker' in all cases. I met my girlfriend when I was pre-hormones, although presenting/living as male, and we've been together for fifteen months ongoing now. It was kind of coincidental, had I never had the courage to talk to her, I'm fairly sure I'd be struggling now with finding a relationship although it's never been a priority. I guess for the record, she's pan, as am I but I don't see really why that'd matter too much (except if she were straight, may or may not have been an issue, but I can't answer a hypothetical). She's cisgender as well, but again, don't see why that really matters.

It's possible, is what I'm saying, to find someone to date and be in a relationship with. I know of a lot of cis gay men in relationships with trans men, cis lesbians dating trans women - some really don't care/mind the trans part, and see you for essentially you, gender and all. Sure, it's like playing the game in hard mode, at least compared to cis folks, but that doesn't mean you can't beat it.

 

I have to say if your avatar is a pic of you, you seem to pass pretty damn well to me xD

 

I didn't come out as anything, if anyone asked me what my orientation was i'd never tell them, i met my girlfriend my freshman year, and we had been dating for almost 4 months before i told her i was transgender, i had to explain some stuff to her but she kinda already knew what it was, i waited that late to tell her cause i knew she was in love with me so much at that point and she wouldn't have cared if i walked around in a clown suit all day she'd still love me lol, but now we have been together for almost 2 years, she supports me so well in transitioning, and if anyone ever asks her orientation she just say's she is straight. Fuck labels, you know who you are you don't owe anyone any explanation what so ever, be whoever you wanna be.

 

I'm picky and also struggle with feelings of inadequacy. I can't get a woman pregnant and I can't guarantee that she won't be treated as a lesbian or somehow differently if I don't pass. How can I expect someone to love me under those circumstances? I mean, if she's trans then ok the pregnancy thing doesn't apply but then I'd be afraid of people questioning her even more/ somehow forcing her to out herself (unless she was out anyway). I kind of feel like there's no way for me to really give any woman I might love the kind of life she'd be deserving of. This is probably my biggest fear.