Today I had the worst dysphoria I've ever experienced. It was bugging me all day- anytime anyone would call me "girl" or "lady", anytime I'd see myself in the mirror, especially when I had to go to singing lessons. Having to hear my singing voice made me extremely uncomfortable and insecure. I'm finding it hard to cope with life... it's nearing the end of the school year so we've got some big tests coming up but I can't even bring myself to study. I don't know why. It's just that all these little things I've got to do seem like SO MUCH. All work, no fun, basically. Nobody understands. My parents don't know I've got gender dysphoria (and how I even doubt myself on the whole transgender thing sometimes) and how confused and stressed I feel. They just get annoyed with me for complaining about these silly little tasks and how I really wish I didn't have to wait at least another month to start actually working through things with my therapist. Life is just so difficult at the moment. I don't know what to do.
I understand. I've been in nearly the same position before. You should try to find little things that make you happy that you can do. Staying positive sounds impossible but if you want to be in control of your life, it's really the only option. Hang in there. (*hug*)
I feel you and I agree with Gates. It's not easy to be positive but think that your situation isn't forever. One day you can express yourself freely, when you'll be outside the closet. Maybe not immediately, but that day will come!
The rainbow chickens... Thanks, guys. I'll try. It's annoying how I still have to participate in life while I'd prefer to hide under a rock for the next couple months but there's a few things I have to look forward to at least.
Hey man. I know the feeling. Can I suggest that you tell your parents that you'd like to see a therapist? Make up any bullshit reason for it; be vague. A therapist would be bound by confidentiality rules not to tell your parents anything and that way you would have someone to talk to who could help you come up with strategies to deal with the dysphoria. Hang in there!
Okay, the dysphoria has multiplied x10. I keep feeling like I'm making it up since I've never felt this horrible about my gender confusion before. But I'm so anxious right now I feel sick to my stomach, and there's a lot of things I should be happy about but I'm not, and every minute feels like an hour, and I can not figure out what's going on in my head.
:tears: :icon_sad: :tears: :icon_sad: :tears: :icon_sad: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: So. Bored. And. Dysphoric. Don't. Know. How. To. Feel. Better. Must. Keep. Bugging. People. On. EC. :bang: :bang: :bang:
I'm so sorry bro :icon_sad: What about to do a demanding thing? I do in this manner when I need to divert my attention on dysphoria.
(*hug*) I don't know how to help here. But listen to some awesome music and try to forget about it, even if it's just for a small amount of time.
Well, thanks. Both of you. It's like nowadays I've either got to be doing something completely distracting or dysphoria kicks in. Ugh.
Yep, pain in the ass isn't it? I have a... somewhat unorthodox suggestion that may or may not help depending on your disposition etc. Stop trying to figure it out and just allow yourself to feel it. Sometimes we just need to stop and recognize that we are in pain and let it out. If you need to cry, write furiously, or just run down the road until you can't run anymore, do it. It's important to allow ourselves a healthy outlet for our feelings and emotions, and to not bottle them up. Chances are that you'll feel better and be able to think more clearly once you let it out. However once you do this it's also important to remember that you shouldn't obsess about the dysphoria. Acknowledge it and deal with it, yes. Allow it to consume you, no. That's where the distractions come in. Hope this helped. Remember that we here at EC are here for you! (*hug*)
Yep, I ended up breaking down and crying last night. At the time I didn't think it would be useful because it just felt like acknowledging all the things I hate about my life, but today I feel a lot better. That was a really nice reply. Thanks you!
