Warning... Slightly graphic?? So recently my body dysphoria has been getting a bit worse. So over the last few months every time I get an erection I get really depressed. Obviously, this doesn't happen every time, but normally it's the outcome. During school if it randomly happens I can't pay attention in class, I just kind of sit there and loathe myself. After talking to some close friends about some things I did a bit of research and found that one of the effects of some anti-androgens is to make it really difficult to get an erection, and keep one... As far as sex goes I'm really not interested. I don't know if I'm transsexual or not, but it's a possibility I've never really ruled out, as It's always kind of been in the back of my mind. Anyway... I was just wondering what the best possible course of action would be. Due to not telling my parents, I haven't gone to a gender therapist yet, although I'm definitely willing. As a side note, I try to keep myself relatively gender neutral, although I do enjoy make up and more feminine clothing. I really don't like leg, facial, pubic, arm or armpit hair... so If the hair did grow back slowly that would be amazing... Anyway, any advice or thoughts would be super helpful. I wasn't going to post here, but my depression has been acting up super hard recently with this problem pretty much triggering it constantly. Thanks in advance for any responses.
There's a lot of things under the transgender umbrella, you don't have to be a transwoman if that's what you're being confused about (feel free to ignore me if I'm reading your words wrong xD). I think it might be worth doing the things you can do now, until you're ready to tell your parents and/or see the gender therapist. You said you didn't like you're hair, so you could shave it. It'll at least be a step to make you feel more comfortable with your body
I do shave my hair. I guess the question I was trying to ask was should I try to get some anti-androgens? Just use some natural testosterone blockers? Or try to figure things out before I do anything involving chemical changes?
Hey. I'm afab, but I know exactly how you feel when it comes to the depression and dysphoria. I think you should tell your parents that you would like to see a therapist. You can make up a reason as to why. Depending on where you live in Utah, it may be difficult to find a therapist who will be supportive, but don't be afraid to shop around. Because of client-confidentiality rules, a therapist wouldn't be able to out you. Find someone supportive and understanding who you click with, and even if they aren't a specialized gender therapist, you'll still have someone to talk to who can advise you on dealing with the dysphoria.