I'm not sure if this might not be better posted in the Later in Life forum but here goes... I have been mulling this over for a while, and I think this may be the place where I feel the strangest divide between the male and female aspects of me. I am really curious if any of this rings any bells for anyone else. A little background: I work from home most of the week and am the primary care giver for my children. I do most of the cooking and cleaning, pretty much all of the shopping, and the majority of the laundry. I am quite active in the PTA and in the kids' schools and activities in general. I love and openly embrace all of these traditionally female roles, while at the same time have a job in a traditionally male industry. While life might be easier, would certainly be less chaotic, and I could probably be a better parent if I stopped working, I'm pretty sure it would make the male portions of me extremely unhappy and probably dysphoric. I feel like a Dad to my daughters - I feel more male around them than I do in any other part of my life (including playing competitive, 'manly' sports - which I do a good deal of). I feel like my parenting style would probably be considered a more 'masculine' one as well. I feel physically protective of them and react in ways I would consider more 'aggressive' than I do anywhere outside of sports. I don't ever feel like their Mom and don't have any desire to take on most of the issues surround growing up that a Mom traditionally handles with her daughter with two exceptions - 1. It will never happen, but I would like to be the one to talk to them about make-up and teach them if they were interested; 2. I'm not really looking forward to having the sex talk, but I do want to (and will) talk to them about relationships and what they should expect and what they should never accept from their partners. On the other hand, I feel very, very much like a Mom when dealing with other parents - I get along absolutely fine with the other Dads (especially the more involved ones), but I feel a real kinship with the Moms and get along with them so well that I am careful to spend enough time with the Dads when they are around that they don't get the wrong idea. When I think about the Moms as a group, in my head they are always 'the other Moms' and I have to be careful to not say it aloud. In fact, I have been told (much to my delight) in the midst of a conversation that would not usually be held with a guy present, that they considered me 'one of the Moms'. Even in conversations with Moms I don't know (which I slip into very easily - I'm a pretty friendly person) - like in the pediatrician's waiting room for instance - if you looked at a transcript of those conversations, I'm pretty sure you would guess that I was a Mom too. It seems so strange to me that parenthood would provoke these feelings and reactions from opposite ends of the gender spectrum - often simultaneously. It doesn't seem to be conscious and it certainly seems to happen naturally and spontaneously so now that I realize that I'm not, and don't have to be, either male or female it doesn't seem to bother me anymore. I am still extremely curious to see if anyone else has similar experiences or feelings. It has been amazing reading other people's posts and seeing myself in them and it is wonderful to realize you are part of a community where for so many years you thought you were alone. Sorry for the wall of text - thanks for reading all of this! :icon_bigg
