So next year, I'm going to university. And I have a choice to make. I'm planning on applying to Cambridge, which is very hard to get into and has high grade requirements. It has been suggested to me that I'd have a better chance of getting in if I told them I'm trans, perhaps even get the entry requirements reduced. That presents me with problems. I am currently stealth. I have been for over three years. However, it's only this last year, due to an unfortunate betrayal by my parents, that I've been truly stealth. Before this, educational establishments knew, and I had to rely on them to 'keep my secret'. Apart from the obvious risk to my safety, I found the whole arrangement demeaning, and so bad that I actually left the last college I went to when I found out my parents had told them without my knowledge. If I were to try and use my gender history in this way, it would have two consequences: I would have to tell at least one teacher at my current college, probably more, and all the other universities I'm applying to will find out as well. I'm not even entirely sure I want to go to Cambridge if that's the deal. I'm also not entirely sure I'm comfortable with the ethics of it either. Basically, it's only in this last year that I've really been happy and safe, and I think a lot has to do with being stealth. I don't think I'm ready to give that up yet. It occurs to me as I'm writing this that I already know what I want to do, but getting some more input can't hurt. I'm facing so much pressure from my parents that I really can't get an unbiased piece of advice from them. Thanks
Well, if you can legally apply as male, then I would do that...if you don't want people to know then don't let them know. I agree with you on the ethics thing, although Cambridge isn't exactly paving the way for moral entry standards. Realistically though, if you can get the grades they want AND you can afford to go there, then it really shouldn't matter if you tell them one way or the other. If you cannot afford to go there or cannot make the grades, you won't last long enough there for it to be an issue.
Couldn't hurt to tell them in the interview, if you're accepted, they can help you out. If you're a good enough candidate, they should accept you anyway.
The thing is, it could. I'd be sacrificing everything that has kept me safe and happy this last year. And how could they help me out?
Might offer advice and stuff, might making legal name changes and such easier. And you should only do it if you're comfortable doing so.
I've already changed my name, gender, and I've had surgery. Should have had the other surgery by the time I get there. In other words, I am no longer in transition.
I agree that using your gender in that way presents an ethical problem. If you decide to tell them, keep in mind that you're under no obligation to tell anyone outside of administration (no professors, etc.).
Tell them that. Say that you've overcome a lot in the past couple years and that you are just looking for somewhere safe to focus on school and pursue your goals. You haven't got that at other colleges but you hope it's something you can get at their college.
Yes, but my safety and happiness is in anonymity, so I have got it at other colleges. Specifically the one I'm at now. And in order to put this on my app form, my current college would find out.
So don't put it on your app form? Just tell them in your interview if you feel it's worth mentioning. If you're not transitioning anymore though and you feel you can get in without it, then don't mention it.
