As many of you may or may not know, I recently came out to my Christian Conservative parents as a lesbian. I am a very devout Christian myself, and believe God made me the way I am. Anyway, I am starting to discover I am very different from my peers. I think if myself as a very masculine woman, even to the point I could be confused for transgender. It turns out that I am a part of that sub category, and I am okay with it. I am super Butch. Love wearing men's clothes, smelling of Speed Stick and wearing ties to fancy occasions with a suit. This isn't the only time in my life I dressed like a male. I struggled with my ID in seventh grade. I loved girls WAY more than boys, and I felt weird. Knowing being gay was considered "Unaccepted" from my family and the people around me. To cope, I cross dressed. My parents picked up on this and "Changed" me. They made me wear girly clothes again, and it hurt. I hid it, and kept myself in terms. I am in my senior year and dressing in the opposite gender's clothes. I feel much more comfortable with it, being female with heavily male tendencies. I am at last in a comfortable place. Except for one thing. I have the inkling my step mom will try to change me into girly clothes again. And my dad will make me ditch the clothes because its "unnatural". I really don;t want to lose my established masculinity. How do I keep it? What if they get me into counseling? What if they insist on wearing girly clothes? How do I deal with their critisms of not being "female" enough? How do I tell them how I feel? How do I approach it to non-gay unaccepting parents?
I'm sorry you've had such problems with your family :/. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do with your family, besides seek out LGBT centers or find people who will accept you for who you are. This being said, it's easier to look semi male as a girl, than semi female as a guy! (which is my problem). Keep your hair kinda short, dress in pants, and go on in full when you're able to move out of your abusive environment (yes, I do consider these types of homes abusive). Society will accept you as a butch lesbian, aside from a few haters.
How do I keep it? As you know there is more to masculinity than clothes. I know it's not the same and being forced to wear clothes you don't like is awful (if someone made me wear trousers now they would be VERY sorry). Just remember you can do other things to make yourself feel masculine. Remind me, how old are you? What if they get me into counseling? Two options. 1. If they send you to an unbiased counsellor, use it. Go nuts. Tell them about your family and how they are hurting you emotionally. Get what you can out of it. 2. If they send you to a BIASED counsellor (in other words someone who will try and 'straighten you out', then congratulations you've just started singing lessons. Walk into that room and bust out your worst Michael Jackson impression until they either kick you out or the session is over. Repeat ad nauseum. If you don't have to option to refuse to go, nobody says you have to cooperate. What if they insist on wearing girly clothes? You can either wear them or destroy them depending how reckless you are feeling. How do I deal with their critisms of not being "female" enough? Tell them you're pregnant. See how they like that. Or, all joking aside, you could ignore them, ask them why that matters or alternatively just answer "Thank goodness for that, for a minute I thought I was being TOO female..." How do I tell them how I feel? They way you told us would work pretty nicely. Thing is right now you aren't necessarily needing to tell them anything other than you don't like wearing dresses and things. Heck tell 'em you don't like it when the wind catches and exposes you if you have to. Personally I would tell them exactly how I felt but I realise that probably isn't something that you want to do right now...or at the very last isn't something you feel ABLE to do right now! If you DO feel like doing that though, I prefer a letter...you can run off for a while while they read it if you want.
I am 18. I like your post, and I will consider doing the greatest friggin MJ impression. Heck, It'll be just like Moonwalker all over again!
If you're 18, your parents cannot force you into any sort of counseling, therapy, or inpatient treatment against your will. You have control over your life. OF course, they can kick you out, but if they do, there are resources to help people who are in danger of being homeless, particularly when it's for being LGBT. The key is respectfully and politely standing up for yourself. They have no right to tell you what to wear, how to act, where to work, or anything else. Hopefully if you treat them respectfully, they will return the favor.
